“Can I give you the gift now?”

Laddu is making circles around me in the study as I pause the Cdrama I am watching with a reluctant sigh.

“You can give it to me on Sunday” I say and hit unpause on the video player. She rolls her eyes before walking out in a huff.

Early this morning, I was reading some of my earlier posts on Mother’s Day and I can see the evolution of a new mom savoring her momhood to this jaded mom wishing for respite from momhood. This year, my mom is with me. I will celebrate her presence and what she has been to me all these years – a safe space, a safety net, unconditional person in my corner. I will revel in all the little things my daughters do for me and put my feet up for a few hours in the morning.

My identity as a woman and mother are interchangeable during this phase in my life. They merge seamlessly because mom is my primary identity for now. I think of a day dedicated to motherhood and I am inevitably drawn to what it has been like taking on this heavy mantle of responsibility.

I start and end my days with children occupying my mind in various degrees. I drop them off at the bus stop, I track the progress of the various assignments due at school, I co-ordinate pick up and drop off for outside school stuff, I order gifts for the gazillion birthday parties they go to, I launder their clothes, I prepare their meals, I dry and brush their hair, I order clothes online, return them when rejected and basically act as their gofer.

In the midst of this mind-numbing litany of ordinariness, there are moments when we walk around the block that we connect. We connect as mothers and daughters. I talk and they listen. They talk and I listen. We make memories doing the very same everyday mind-numbing things I loathe. In that moment of connection, I perceive shifts – minor and seismic, things that one day will be the direct cause of actions they take or not. This moulding of human beings to reflect the unique blend of influences that I am, influences from my mother and her mother before her is what hits me this Mother’s Day.

So, this weekend, I am going to own the influence I have on the children in my life and pray really hard that I use this power for the greater good.

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