COVID-19, Diary, Musings

COVID-19 Diaries: Wear Those Dresses

I am speaking on a work call, my palms animated as I to explain my position when I spy Laddu outside my study door. Beyond the mullioned door, she mimes something my preoccupied brain fails to comprehend. I shoo her away and adjust focus back to the matter on hand. The call ends and Laddu […]

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COVID-19, Journal, Musings

COVID-19 Diaries: First Lost Tooth

We are all sitting around our dining table. The afternoon sun feels pleasant as it filters through the window even if it is windy and cold outside. The steam swirls and diffuses into the air from the keerai kootu. I serve the children while the husband dutifully mixes the hot rice, ghee, and kootu for […]

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COVID-19, Musings, Reflections

COVID-19 Diaries: The Little Things

With this week, we have all been home for over four weeks with the rare exception of the weekly grocery runs by the husband. Some days, the kids and I step out for some sun keeping to the small grassy oval in front of our home. On adventurous days, I even walk the full loop, […]

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COVID-19, Musings, Reflections

COVID-19 Diaries: I Am The Lottery

I see my reflection on the dirty powder room mirror and pause, really pause. The face staring back at me is beautiful. Perhaps it is the lighting or the two years of sticking to a walking routine or just the effect of being indoors all the time for over a month. I like what I […]

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COVID-19, Daughters, Life, Musings

COVID-19 Diaries: Life Goes On

It is a bright, sunny day. All through the day, I alternate work, kitchen and online studies with the kids. There is a point towards the end of the workday when I throw in the towel, order the kids off their iPad, their IXL sessions be damned and head out for a bit of fresh […]

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COVID-19, Happiness, Journal, Life, Musings

COVID-19 Diaries: Pockets Of Happy

I woke with throbbing pain behind my right eye, the premonition of a raging migraine for later in the day. I powered on, hoping the pain will go away. By mid-day, the light from the screen, the smells from cooking, the sounds of my children happily playing all clashed, clanged and reduced me to tears. […]

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COVID-19, Diary, Musings

COVID-19 Diaries: A New Normal

I wake up sans alarm. My varied routine now has me logging into work with coffee, catching up on emails, working out and then scrambling to put breakfast before the slew of work calls start at 8:30 am. Saathi works at a steady pace until the children are up and then take over trying to […]

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COVID-19, Musings

COVID-19 Diaries: Exhausted!

It is not yet 8:30 pm. The exhaustion I feel is bone-deep. My day began around 5:30 am and it has been a whirl of activity. Working, cooking, cleaning, feeding, and sitting with decimal math for two kids at the fag end of a long day took everything out of me. The average course load […]

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Musings, Reflections

Coming Home

I stand stir-frying okra at the gas stove. It is past our usual dinner time but then it is a Saturday that also involved a solid two-hour nap in the afternoon. The smell of asafetida in oil, the heady scent of turmeric as it mixes and coats the now dry okra takes me back to […]

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Musings, nostalgia

The Dada Cup

It is not yet 6:00 am. I unload the dishwasher. I like the quiet this time of the day. I go about my work methodical, intentional. The last items to come out of the dishwasher are the coffee mugs. Even as I pull them out, I hear footsteps coming down the stairs and look up […]

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Life, Musings, Reflections

Thank You For Coming To My TED Talk

“Thank you for coming to my TED talk!” I almost laugh out loud as my inner voice makes this statement in my head. Most mornings, I am on the elliptical walking at a moderate pace while my thoughts and ideas jump from place to place. One day I imagine my book signing. I let my […]

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Death, Life, Musings

Inscrutable Grief

My toes feel the sand as it oozes through the gaps, a sludge of water and sand. The debris the waves deposit and pull back from the shore sometimes grazes my naked calf. I don’t quite like the sensation, or the imagination my mind conjures. It feels like someone is churning the ocean, generating ripples, […]

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Gratitude, Musings, Thanks, Thanksgiving

Gratitude: The Decade Long Version

The water undulates in front of me. It is mesmerizing, the flecks of blue and gold, the buoys bobbing up and down. Most importantly, I am alone, a rare occurrence in my life as a mother and wife. The sounds around me are soothing, the road noise, the water lapping against the concrete barrier. Even […]

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Children, Daughters, Life, Musings

Growing Up

I pass Laddu’s bedroom en route to mine. A cutout of a rainbow is taped to her door. The door is closed. It bothers me but I can’t quite figure out why. I straighten the bed in Pattu’s room. All around me are signs of disorganization. I sigh and look up. On the ceiling right […]

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Life, Musings

The Color Of Regret

The garage rattles noisily when I press the switch. I wince. It is not yet 6:00 am. The breeze feels deliciously chill when I drag the two-wheel toter that houses my garbage bags out to the edge of the driveway. I position it and return for the tub containing recycle trash. I stand for a […]

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Aware parenting, Children, Musings

Untaught Lessons

I am driving home from my brother’s place. Amma is in the passenger seat beside me. Pattu and Laddu are in the back seat bopping to the music streaming from my phone. In the front, we are catching up on the weekend and trading stories. New Rules by Dua Lipa comes on. I lip sync […]

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