Tag: Reflections

Musings On Art And Intimacy

Hot on the heels of the recent Sanjay Subrahmanyan (@sanjaysub) concert in Philadelphia, a friend and I were chatting and she said “He was outstanding! The best I can explain is he makes love with his voice” I nodded heartily and we moved on to other things but I kept going back to her statement…

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Orbits

Our lives glide smoothly, seamless on predetermined paths. Occasionally, I pass you in the distance, the tilt of the head, the familiar gait causing my heart to quicken and a smile to appear on my face. Sometimes, I notice a picture on your status and I linger just a moment before I move on. Sometimes,…

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End Of Summer

Today has been a day lived in full cognizance of the passing of time. Each moment together, sweeter because of the change that sets in tomorrow with the beginning of the school year. I put in the effort to make a meal that could be savored as a family. We went out for dinner and…

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Parenting From The Sidelines

For a brief few hours last evening, I sat on the porch of a friend’s home chatting, ordering pizzas and watching a group of over ten kids walk to the park, chat and interact with each other. My gangly twins and the stocky youngest fit in seamlessly. They made their own sub groups, congregating and…

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Inexorable Change

It is quiet in the morning as I unload the dishes. There is enough light to make it seem like it is later than it actually is. A deer is cavorting in my yard. The vegetation looks sinfully lush. A baby deer gambols outside the fence waiting for the mother. Amid the greenery, I spy…

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Holding Ever So Lightly

One of the moments from our trip is this picture of white sand/gypsum flowing freely from my husband’s hand. The loose grip, the easy flow, the few grains of sand stuck to the hand after, all gone after a wipe down. Often in my open adoption journey, I am asked if I worry about my…

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The Shape Of You

I clocked 7000 steps this morning as I circled the first level of my home talking to a friend. We have fallen into this habit, texting and calling most days as I begin my day and she ends hers. Most days, it is a recount of our days, the inane details that I am sure…

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Existential Ennui

The euphoria of the new year, the promise of a fresh start has faded. Omicron has done its rounds. Masks are second nature when we step out (if we do). We are pros at swabbing our noses and testing at home. In the year three since the plague, the ‘before’ part feels nebulous, out of…

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Existential Angst

The New Year started with a wave of positive COVID cases around me, in my neighborhood, in my family and possibly in my home. As we rode out the cough, cold and the seemingly common cold like symptoms, I was beginning to feel like maybe, just maybe, this new Omicron could be the vaccine the…

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#NAAM No One Size Fits All

A chance conversation with my daughters’ mother yesterday had me thinking long and hard about the past eleven years that have defined my life, my identity and, influenced my creative work. With so much focus on adoption this month surrounding NAAM (National Adoption Awareness Month), I have been a curious onlooker. Early in my life…

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On Being A Mother

I waffled a long time before typing in the title. I kept typing parent, erasing, and keying in mother. Eventually, mother won out because this is just my experience and it is tied to being a mother than a parent. What’s the difference you ask? I define the difference in terms of the load I…

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The Thinning Of The Veil

I stood in my tie-dye pants, this nasty woman votes tee shirt, a vampire red cape around my neck, and a black witch hat on my head by my front window in the fading light. My face was lit by the glow of my smartphone as I glanced through my feed. It was still a…

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Vestiges Of Innocence

“Mom! mom!!” Her excitement is contagious as she bounds down the stairs, her smile stretching from ear to ear, her eyes wide as saucers. I have my AirPods on as I listen to a masterclass on retrograde planets. I pause the lesson and slow my pace to take in what is happening. “The tooth fairy…

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We Need Diverse Books #WNDB

I pulled a card from my Smith Waite tarot deck when my youngest walked in, grumpy. “The tooth fairy did not come…” she complained. I cursed myself mentally for forgetting that her tooth had fallen out and she had written a note attaching a gift for the said fairy. I held her as she grumbled…

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The Gift Of Timelessness

I begin most days with cooking prep followed by a sort of brisk walk around my home as I listen to podcasts on the YouTube app. My playlist is filled with astrologers. Some are quick takes on mundane astrology, weighing in on the pressing news of the moment. Some are rambling philosophical takes on the…

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Journeying Home

I have not been posting as much as I once did. It is not for lack of things to say. On any given day my head is churning with thoughts – some radical, some mundane and, a few personal. I even type them out but pause before I hit publish. When I started this blog,…

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Lines – Hard Or Soft?

The past few weeks have been eye-opening for me personally. I have put myself in rooms where I am not comfortable, rooms where at times, I have worried for my physical safety, rooms which I left with my heart quaking, arms and legs shaking. The words I heard in these rooms rudely brought me to…

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Moving, Morphing, Evolving

I start my mornings with a steaming cup of coffee. It is my quiet time, a time to slowly wake up. In the past, I have browsed through the news as I sipped on my coffee. These days I look at the heavens on my phone. The moon moves the fastest, followed by the other…

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The In-Between Space

The pandemic and by association, the seclusion, has afforded me a lot of time to think. I think a lot most days. It is my default setting. I am either reflecting on the past or planning for the future. My thoughts almost always revolve around family or the future me. It is, but natural that…

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Defining Success: Yet

I was logged in to work, early for a Friday morning that is, when Laddu, also logged into her school iPad in the same room, walked up to me. Her face was serious. I removed my ear phones and gave her my full attention preparing myself to send a note to her teacher whatever the…

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