My middle daughter and I stood by the entrance of the studio where we were for her voice lessons, looking out into the pouring rain. Our car was a short walk away. Mulling over whether to wait for the rain to stop or get wet, I asked her if we should do it kdrama style…
This week has been one for milestone birthdays, twenty fifth wedding anniversaries and other time markers that has me thinking. People of my age are at a cusp in their lives as they stare at empty nests and retirement in the not so distant future. As I walked around my home this morning striding to…
“Want to see pictures of my crush?” I ask, a goofy smile plastered on my face. My 13-year-old is scandalized. She reluctantly takes my phone and scrolls through the IG feed I show her. She is quiet and after a beat asks me “Are married women allowed to have crushes?” I laugh out loud. She…
Last night, after a dinner made by my husband, we drove through our neighborhood gawking at the holiday light displays. Some were classy, some gaudy, some muted and other blingy. As we cruised around slowly, I got to see twinkling lit up trees through the window, families gathered around the dinner table, TVs with some…
This past week, I was part of two separate women only gatherings. One, a dinner at a friend’s home where we hugged warmly on arrival and sat around in her family room catching up on family, kids and life. The mood was quiet, comfortable and intimate. We ate at the dining table trading compliments, holding…
The end of November brings with it a sense of finality about the year. It is around then that I start taking stock of the year that has been and the year ahead. It is not quite the celebratory feeling that accompanies new year’s eve. This is sober, reflective and, has a gravitas to it.…
“Mom! mom!!” Her excitement is contagious as she bounds down the stairs, her smile stretching from ear to ear, her eyes wide as saucers. I have my AirPods on as I listen to a masterclass on retrograde planets. I pause the lesson and slow my pace to take in what is happening. “The tooth fairy…
I pulled a card from my Smith Waite tarot deck when my youngest walked in, grumpy. “The tooth fairy did not come…” she complained. I cursed myself mentally for forgetting that her tooth had fallen out and she had written a note attaching a gift for the said fairy. I held her as she grumbled…
I begin most days with cooking prep followed by a sort of brisk walk around my home as I listen to podcasts on the YouTube app. My playlist is filled with astrologers. Some are quick takes on mundane astrology, weighing in on the pressing news of the moment. Some are rambling philosophical takes on the…
Nostalgia is part of who I am. I meticulously track birthdays, death days, wedding days, and anniversaries of all kinds. I used to be able to remember dates. I used to call, email, text until my forties hit me with a vengeance. At my last annual physical, I had trouble recalling words in order. I…
“I’ll get it Amma…” The snippet was part of some inane conversation in the morning as we bustled around getting ready for school and work. I would have missed it had it not been for the funny flips my heart did when I heard Amma instead of mommy. Motherhood, for me, is the destination of…
Earlier this week, a friend shared this letter (excerpt 3). Words that have stuck with me for over two decades now when I first discovered Bach and the Bridge Across Forever. There was even a time when I thought I could not get married to someone who cannot discuss stuff like this with me. Eighteen years…
“I am bored!” The words seem to resound, bounce off the walls of our home over the weekend. If they were not out biking or prone on the sofa, eyes glazed over, watching something inane on the television, they start like cicadas, a lone voice, growing, amplifying into a resonant chorus until I either yell…
I am sending some emails when a new one downloads. Saathi the name reads and my face breaks into a smile. Reflexive, something I cannot control. The subject says, “Your PECO bill” and I almost laugh. In the ten days I have been away from home, I haven’t caught myself thinking about him or the…
I am crouched behind the door, my large frame cramped on the tiny steps leading down to the basement. Pattu and Laddu are downstairs in the room farthest from where I am and I can still hear the muted sounds from the iPad they are playing with. Ammu is seated on the stairs across from…
She sat by the window seat watching the countryside fly by. It wasn’t yet winter but the window fogged up with her breath as she leaned closer to get a better view of the landscape flying by. The exchange on WhatsApp was playing on her mind. “Hey! Am in town this week. Meant to message…
I love looking back. I collect memories. I relive the years gone past. I look into old photographs and see past the people in the pictures. I am transported back to slivers of time preserved in my head. These memories, they swirl in my head like in a pensieve, dragging me along into corridors…
My ideas about a romantic partner had been cobbled together from fictional people, from the Darcys of literature and the Khans of Bollywood. In essence, they did not exist. Marriage is a lot of work I concluded as I expressed enough for the two of us. I wrote notes, I pored over recipe books, slaved…
I flip through the pictures in our wedding album. Loud. Vibrant. Chaotic. Happy. Each picture tells a story. Of expectations and dreams. Behind the powder caked face lies unexpressed fears and hopes. I watch my appa bend back as he holds my weight. As you tie the thaali around my neck, I notice my dad’s…
With every passing year, the memories seem to acquire a sepia toned feel to it. Early on in my marriage I used to relish recounting how K came to “see” me. What we talked about, how we decided to go ahead to commit to waking up to each other for the rest of our lives.…
Lakshmi Iyer 