Something In The Rain

My middle daughter and I stood by the entrance of the studio where we were for her voice lessons, looking out into the pouring rain. Our car was a short walk away. Mulling over whether to wait for the rain to stop or get wet, I asked her if we should do it kdrama style…

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Mother. Daughter. Mother.

“Skipping time” Amma calls out to my prepubescent youngest child who is upstairs talking to a friend over Facetime. I am in the kitchen doing dishes, amused by the interaction. I hear the sound of jumping upstairs as Laddu counts and jumps a hundred times. She is out of breath but rushes proudly to her…

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Devolve. Disconnect. Dissolve.

This has been years in the making I guess. This week, I watched passively as a group I am in made plans to organize something. In the past, I would have been eager, loud and passionate about being the architect of such plans. This time, I watched, a little amused, unaffected by what was happening.…

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Remembering My Perima

I woke up to news of my aunt passing. Beyond the first rush of hot tears, my mind went back decades remembering the warm person she was. In the years following my move from Coimbatore to Madras, we (amma, my siblings and I) would pile into an auto and go to Nungambakkam where she lived.…

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2022 – The Year In Review

January – The year started with a bone deep exhaustion from two years and counting of the plague. Winter has never been my favorite season and the cold had me burrowing inward and burying myself in reflections. February – The month started with news of Westland closing and my book rights being reverted to me.…

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The Art Of Language

Kumao, I say bowing deeply as I thank Saathi for something. He laughs. Dey, Kha, Saranghae. The words slip easily into conversation. My head is a soup of words in various languages at all times. I gush over the latest show I am watching to a friend and she says “They all look the same…

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A Different Kind Of Funk

For some reason my mind went to the December of 1999 when the world was on the cusp of a new millenia. Back then 2020s was the future. I was 24, single and, working for an MNC. I remember the hope I carried in my heart like some flame that could not be put out.…

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The Rocking Fifties

This week has been one for milestone birthdays, twenty fifth wedding anniversaries and other time markers that has me thinking. People of my age are at a cusp in their lives as they stare at empty nests and retirement in the not so distant future. As I walked around my home this morning striding to…

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Kdrama, Saranghae

“Want to see pictures of my crush?” I ask, a goofy smile plastered on my face. My 13-year-old is scandalized. She reluctantly takes my phone and scrolls through the IG feed I show her. She is quiet and after a beat asks me “Are married women allowed to have crushes?” I laugh out loud. She…

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Memories Bring Back Memories

By instinct, I sip on my coffee and think about the date. I do it every single morning, a way to place myself in the context of the day, date, year construct. My mind reels off the facts, 27th of November, 2022, Sunday. For an instant everything slows as my brain sends off tiny alarms…

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A Wave Not A Ripple

As election night concluded and the results trickled in overnight, I refreshed my social media feeds and listened to my They See Blue friends discuss the results. The sense of solidarity and comraderie is something I do not take for granted. We started the evening nervous and bracing for agonizing losses. I woke this morning…

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Musings On Art And Intimacy

Hot on the heels of the recent Sanjay Subrahmanyan (@sanjaysub) concert in Philadelphia, a friend and I were chatting and she said “He was outstanding! The best I can explain is he makes love with his voice” I nodded heartily and we moved on to other things but I kept going back to her statement…

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Should I? Shouldn’t I?

I live my life in phases. My social media at any given point is a reflection of the community I seek. So, my timeline, is in a sense the detritus of my past two decades. There are times when I feel an intense desire to wipe it all clean and disappear. I let the impulse…

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Orbits

Our lives glide smoothly, seamless on predetermined paths. Occasionally, I pass you in the distance, the tilt of the head, the familiar gait causing my heart to quicken and a smile to appear on my face. Sometimes, I notice a picture on your status and I linger just a moment before I move on. Sometimes,…

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