Freedom of choice – Why is it murky?

Over the past week when I was stuck in an inspiration less phase, plenty of thoughts buzzed around my head. A few came from current happenings, a few from personal experiences and observations. My friend Arch wrote to ask what I thought of the Delhi High Court ruling that decriminalizes homosexuality. I thought it was great! I also saw this twitter update on my list from prabhuferrari that read “Adam was made for Eve and not Steve”. I could not help suppressing a chuckle. Also over the weekend, my ten year old nephew made a statement about his teacher that set me thinking.

I grew up in a time and place where birds and bees abounded. There was no direct talk and cinemas showed a bee buzzing over flowers swaying in the wind when they wanted to portray intimacy in a relationship. I am not getting into a discussion of whether this was right or wrong but cloaking human needs in secrecy and making it adult only perpetuated a false sense of innocence. As I grew up and battled black, white and grey in my mind, I realized what a beautiful thing freedom of choice was. Right or Wrong is a perspective. Each person has a right to choose. To choose the way they want to live. The Delhi HC has set the correct tone in my opinion for going forward. I really hope the SC follows suit.

Having said that a few things disturb me. How do you educate kids and young adults on respecting personal boundaries if you are not clear yourself? When my nephew whispered into K’s ear that his teacher was married to another woman, there was an element of voyeurism. A sense of peeking into something taboo. If I felt that way inspite of knowing that it is personal choice, how do I unlearn those feelings?

All my life marriage has stood for a relationship between opposite sex. Now, suddenly laws and rules are changing all I know around. How do you redefine relationships in a two father or two mother family? Unless we incorporate these social changes into our system and unlearn old behaviors, we will see a period of social unrest before a new norm is established. While the society am part of still has trouble accepting intermixing of religion and caste in marriage, same sex marriages and relationships are a long way off.

So, while I cheer the breaking down of antiquated laws, I am curious to see how people like you and I will adapt to changing social mores.

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