“You can get drunk as much as you want to…”
Ammu says playfully in conversation where her dad and I talk about her and her twin getting their learner’s permits and eventually their drivers license.
“Ani! Neva…”
I call out laughing as I do and head back to my oasis that is my study.
“True! But, you can get drunk… on men’s abs…” Ammu quips as she floats away, a reference to the squeal I let out during the Stray Kids concert when my ult bias Felix came on stage.
I am still grinning as I pull up the Netflix app on my laptop to play Dear Hongrang. I pause instead and tell myself to commit this moment on paper.
This week has been about breaching frontiers. My older girls and I went to a K-pop concert (Stray Kids DominATE tour in NYC). The girls slayed their concert fit while I made do with a red sequin blouse and a black undershirt. I did add a touch of dark red lip tint in solidarity.
The evening was electric. The rain stayed away. The boys put on a terrific show. The fireworks was amazing. It was a night to remember. On the way back in the dead of the night, I realized this was a new dynamic in our mother-daughter relationship. In a crowd that barked at the K-pop idols, all of us turned feral, blurring boundaries.
Today, I sat in the passenger seat while the twins took turns learning what every symbol on the car’s dash meant. They operated the indicator lights, windshield wipers, adjusted mirrors and, pretended for a moment that they were legitimate drivers. Their enthusiasm was catching. We came back inside and Ammu walked around with me reading questions of a test prep flash card deck.
I had two tasks for them this summer. Learn to drive. Find a job.
I have no idea if either of those tasks will happen. What I do know is that they will bloom at their pace. Watching them grow is a beautiful experience. Watching them become adults and being able to interact with them the way women tribes do is a bonus, one I had not counted on. I can imagine going on trips, trying new experiences, and, in general discovering the adults my kids are over the next few years. The prospect is terrifying as much as it is exciting.
Onward and upward.
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