Letters To My Daughters: The Big 1-0

“What should I dream about?”

Your voice still carries a trace of babyhood that is fast disappearing. Your round face wrapped in a plush hoodie, surrounded by pillows makes me want to squish you tight. I limit myself to planting a kiss on your forehead and walking away. Just as I turn out the light, you are insistent.

“What should I dream about?”

This is a daily ritual. Tucking you in, waiting for you to pose your question and coming up with predictable answers.

“Dream about your birthday…”

I am almost out the door when you say “backup dream?”

I can hear you smiling.

“Your birthday again.”

I sail out of the room before you can prolong this dream conversation.

“Good night, love you!” I call out from the bottom of the stairs and walk to the study where my beloved kdrama waits. My mind though is in no hurry. I look through old pictures of you on my phone. I can’t believe it has been a decade since you arrived in my life with little to no fanfare. I read the posts I wrote as I figured how to be a mother all over again and, handle all the changes my body was going through.

You have always been an inquisitive child. You were cautious. You are kind. Over the years, the one thing that has stayed constant is your ability to open yourself up to everyone in your presence. You give willingly. You give your all. You are sometimes petulant but you can never bring yourself to say no. You notice when the light in my eyes dim. You leave me notes when you think I need them. You celebrate me as much as I celebrate you.

Over the years, I may ask you to hold a little of yourself just for you. I may ask you to be a little less trusting, a little reticent. For now though, I am enjoying this phase where you are shielded and can shine your light as brightly as it burns.

So, dream away. Dream of the impossible. Dream of conquering this world. Dream of being a warrior princess. Dream because there are no limits… yet.

Happy birthday little one. I love you.

Amma.

If this moved you, send a tip.