Reconnecting with Reality: My Path to Engagement

On Saturday, I decided on impulse to join a friend and meet with my fellow They See Blue PA members. The election is a raw gaping wound in all of us and I was wary of going there and feeling ripped and being in pain again. But, it helped. Sitting with others who felt more pain than I did, talking honestly about how we felt, acknowledging how silo-ed our optimism was and, knowing what we are up against felt oddly reassuring. Walking away from the group that evening, I knew this respite from politics is short lived. I emailed my rep the very next day asking her to oppose H.R. 9495 that basically gives the President the powers to suppress dissenting voices.

The retreat from last week has fundamentally shifted something in my head. I feel ready to meet people in person. I am ready to turn off my streaming service ignoring that need to watch one more episode. Ideas are buzzing in my head and the words are flowing. The writers block seems to be thinning and I am grateful for it. It remains to be seen if it actually translates into something concrete but I feel ready for what is ahead.

The past year and a half has been very inward looking. I opted out of groups, kept to myself largely and buried myself in shows and music that was an escape from my real life. I still do it but I feel the fog lifting. I recognize the escape for what it is. I am ready to reintegrate myself into the gritty real world. Today, I sat with my oldest child, getting caught up in a mile long list of overdue assignments, prioritizing which one to work on first and getting reacquainted with the rigor of everyday parenting. I had checked out mentally for two years now leaving my kids to fail.

I have no clue what the next couple of years will look like but at least it won’t be that I gave up. I will do my part both at home as a parent and outside as an informed, engaged citizen.

Bring it on, world.

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