Reflections

The Author Life

“So, how does it feel like to be an Author?” I have been asked this question by various friends over the past few days. I laugh and answer that I am living the dream. It is true. This all feels like a dream, a lovely one. The truth though is that the day of the […]

Read more
Children, Daughters, Reflections

The Race Conversation

“What is the meaning of race?” My elbows are flat against the kitchen island, my face level with my girls. “Run?” “Bring children up?” The twins come up with every possible meaning but the one I was curious to know what they knew. We drank our kaapi, set Laddu up so she could Facetime her […]

Read more
Life, Musings, Reflections

COVID-19 Diaries: Ceding Control

Waiting. This word in itself sums up the entirety of my existence these days. I am waiting for many things. Sometimes, it feels like all of my life is one big wait for something to happen. Everything is scripted in my head, the joys, the grief, the anticipation, the highs, the lows. It is frozen […]

Read more
COVID-19, Diary, Musings, Reflections

COVID-19 Diaries: Jugaad

I am in the bedroom browsing through my phone when I hear Laddu’s voice. “Mommy, my glasses broke.” It takes a minute to register. “What do you mean broke? Broke?” The questions swirled. How? When? Who? In the end, I inspected the glasses, pronounced it dead. The lack of emotion, the lack of panic. The […]

Read more
COVID-19, Musings, Reflections

COVID-19 Diaries: The Little Things

With this week, we have all been home for over four weeks with the rare exception of the weekly grocery runs by the husband. Some days, the kids and I step out for some sun keeping to the small grassy oval in front of our home. On adventurous days, I even walk the full loop, […]

Read more
COVID-19, Musings, Reflections

COVID-19 Diaries: Decluttering

I took Friday and today off ostensibly to figure out a schooling plan for the children. My intentions were in the right place. Birthday plans consumed Friday. The weekend was grunt work: grinding batter, laundry, groceries, and just everyday things. Today, however, I decided to tackle the girl’s bedrooms. Growing up, I was the child […]

Read more
COVID-19, Musings, Reflections

COVID-19 Diaries: I Am The Lottery

I see my reflection on the dirty powder room mirror and pause, really pause. The face staring back at me is beautiful. Perhaps it is the lighting or the two years of sticking to a walking routine or just the effect of being indoors all the time for over a month. I like what I […]

Read more
Musings, Reflections

The Irrelevance Of Almost Everything

I scan the news. I work. I scan my email. I work. I refresh my Twitter feed as I eat. The stress bands at the base of my neck are back as is a near-constant headache. This time though, I know the cause for the stress, COVID-19 aka Coronavirus. I have watched from afar, in […]

Read more
Musings, Reflections

Coming Home

I stand stir-frying okra at the gas stove. It is past our usual dinner time but then it is a Saturday that also involved a solid two-hour nap in the afternoon. The smell of asafetida in oil, the heady scent of turmeric as it mixes and coats the now dry okra takes me back to […]

Read more
Musings, Reflections

Greying. Aging.

I declare my #henna #indigo adventure a success! — Lakshmi (@lakshgiri) January 13, 2020 It has been a day since I colored my hair. I pause every time I pass a mirror. I look critically noticing the grey along the sidebangs, the center of my parting. When I think no one is looking, I lean […]

Read more
Life, Musings, Reflections

Thank You For Coming To My TED Talk

“Thank you for coming to my TED talk!” I almost laugh out loud as my inner voice makes this statement in my head. Most mornings, I am on the elliptical walking at a moderate pace while my thoughts and ideas jump from place to place. One day I imagine my book signing. I let my […]

Read more
Musings, Reflections

To The Moon And Back

A few weeks ago, every day on my drive to work and back home, I listened to America commemorate the fiftieth anniversary of the first moon landing. NPR aired interviews, held discussions, played audience reactions on-air. I listened in awe as ordinary citizens of this country called in with tales of how they were connected […]

Read more
Musings, Reflections

Observer And The Observed

She arrived by the morning train early on Thursday carrying equipment that occupied more than two unwieldy bags. She filmed us setting up the Golu. She was there, a tangible presence as we squabbled, as we debated on the order of the Dasavatharam. She was that silent fly on the wall as we rehashed stories, […]

Read more
Adoption, Open Adoption, Reflections, Transracial Adoption

Hypotheticals

“Amma, can we please let Snowflake free?” Ammu pleads with me, still sleepy-eyed at 6:30 AM in the morning. “After you are back from school,” I say. “But amma, imagine if you were stuck in a box for monnnnnths…” she continues, her angst making her drag out the words. “I am not an elf and […]

Read more
Musings, Reflections

Reflections On Relationships

I am on the phone with my cousin. I have it on speaker, tucked into my blouse as I clatter and clang washing dishes. She puts up with the noise and me as we trade notes on our week. I hang up and feel a physical wave of gratitude wash over me for her time […]

Read more
Life, Musings, Reflections, Single life

Adulting

I walk in the cold morning air cognizant of the fact that Laddu is in her carseat and probably straining to get out. I grab the empty recycle bin and hear a sound that make me whip around. Ammu is visibly sobbing and running toward me. The time is 8:16 AM. We run, the two […]

Read more
Birthday, Musings, Reflections

Unbridled Joy

In the minutes before the clock struck three and the cars would start arriving in our driveway, I prowled the first floor of my home, camera in hand. Just as I thought I would head to the basement and snap pictures of the hastily made decorations, I spied Ammu and Pattu by the window. The […]

Read more
Movie, Musings, Reflections

India’s Daughter – More questions than answers

India’s Daughter, the documentary that was the eye of a political storm earlier this year showed up on my Netflix selections. I had dithered when it originally was released on YouTube. Crimes against women, rape especially disturbs me deeply. Perhaps, it is the extremely personal nature of the crime or the fact that it is primarily […]

Read more