Pushing my boundaries

Cruising along the highway after what felt ages, I felt adrenaline course through me. Driving my Prius on its brand new wheels brought back memories of the 45 min drive to work from years back. Music playing, thoughts spinning through different pathways in my brain I enjoyed the ‘me’ time it offered. The clock showed 2 mins to my deadline. The time I had said I would be at the café where I was meeting this person I knew reasonably well or not at all depending on how I looked at it. I could hear the phone ringing from the depths of my bag. Torn between reaching out for it and my natural fear of driving and talking on the phone, I risked it. Calling her back I found she running a little late. Relieved, I slowed down and enjoyed the rest of the drive taking in the familiar wayside.

Reaching the café and parking, I found a spot outside and sat on the cold metal chair sunlight falling at an angle on me warming my insides. Clutching my bag, I watched as each person slowed down looking for a space to park. Fast forward three and half hours later and I exited the area looking carefully as I pulled out of the parking space. Navigating my way out of the now crowded strip mall I felt my shoulders relax once I hit the highway. Looking at the blinking empty fuel on the dashboard I took a detour to fill gas and took the longer way home.

I enjoyed my outing in many ways. My first time out by myself in a long while. First time out on a sunny winter day when I could actually dispense with the coat and enjoy the delicious chilliness. First time meeting a fellow blogger and feeling like I knew where she came from. Many aha moments. Good food and the joy of time well spent.

Often when I promise to meet a girlfriend for lunch or dinner, I do so with great enthusiasm but as the time to actually go nears, I wonder why I do that. My fear of leaving my comfort zone threatens to undo my promise. Every time without fail, I return from the outing feeling good about it. Finally it feels like I am becoming the person I was a decade back and I am loving it.

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