Marking milestones

I backed out of my garage slowly, rolling down the windows taking in the gorgeous day. I did not have much time. This was Friday. After eons, I had a little over an hour just to myself. Away from home. Away from my K, Away from my babies. There was the party over the weekend. As much as I had never been one to pay particular attention to how I looked, this was an event that merited some effort. So, off I was to the neighborhood hair cuttery. To get my greys touched upon and a nice trim to bring the bounce back into my lifeless locks.

So, drive I did savoring the precious minutes of time that let me unwind and enjoy the day for what it was. As I listened to the baby music playing in the background, my eyes strayed to the rearview and from the corner of my eye I spied the car seat. A wellspring of emotions came rising. Each time it happens, it hits me like a ton of bricks.

I relived our first few minutes with the girls alone. I remember it like it was yesterday. We each held one girl, looking at each other unwilling to believe this was really happening. The first night alone with the girls was rocky. Bursts of crying, two fussy babies and two clueless adults. It will be two months soon and it already feels like we are getting to be pros at this parenting thing.

The girls will be turning ONE! The thought was on a loop playing endlessly on my mind. What do parents do when their babies turn one? Apart from cutting a cake and have a huge party I mean? Do you go back and look at pictures from when they were born? Do you make a scrapbook? How do you mark a milestone like this? Do you get portraits taken? I had no answers or history with the girls to do most of the things I would have done otherwise. Racking my brains, I figured there was nothing tangible I could do other than perhaps write my feelings down. So, here goes!

Dear Kay and Cee!

Happy FIRST birthday!!

You came to Appa and I as 10 month old girls wearing Disney princess sleep sacks. The first week we spent together as a family, all we did was to figure out what to feed you and how much. Of course there were other practical issues like how to give you both baths and force tiny onesies over your head. We were excited, nervous and scared. Excited about having you both in our lives. Anxious to know if will be able to handle this huge responsibility and dead scared about raising you right.

Every day in the past two months has been incredibly joyful. There are moments which in your Appa’s words are worth dying for. As identical as you look, your natures cannot be further apart. Kay, you surprise me with your gentle nature, thoughtful expressions and intelligent actions. Cee, you light up the room when you smile and have such a magnetic presence that I often worry for Kay. You both love being cuddled, showered with kisses on your tummy and enjoy bath time. You both hate it when I try to feed you more than you want. Both of you love watching TV. Kay, you listen with rapt attention to the same songs your Appa loves. Cee, you shake your body and really move with the music. Kay, you love watching Amma cook and have a forever curious expression on your face. Cee, you love taking things apart and surprise Appa and me with your strength. Kay, you are forgiving and very expressive. Cee, you are aggressive and know what you want.

I can’t wait for you to start expressing yourselves using words and signs. Both of you babble and talk to each other so much that I am sure you are discussing us. How I wish I could peek inside your head and know what you feel?

As you turn ONE, I want both of you to know that you are loved beyond belief. You both are the reason Amma is so very happy. You light up my life and will always be the reason I smile. All I want for you today and every day is that you know that you are loved. A lot.

Happy birthday kutties!!!