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Joy As Resistance
It’s a little past my usual breakfast time. I open the pantry and decide on an English muffin. I pick the yellow serrated knife slicing it cleanly in half and pick up the crumbs left behind. I set out the butter and debate for a moment before settling on strawberry preserves. Breakfast is a ritual…
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Democracy To Dystopia
The sun glinting off the packed snow on the sides is blinding me. The roads are a hazy white, a fine layer of salt ground to dust by the cars that ply on them incessantly. I am driving slowly. My mind is heavy. I am heading back home after dropping my youngest at her school…
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Dystopia: Delulu Is The Solulu
“Alexa, play rosie by Rosé.” I command the little blue orb in my bathroom as I step in to take the shower. I wash my hair letting the hot water hypnotize me as the music cascades in waves, dulling any thought I might have. I went to bed last night after binge-ing a comfort show.…
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Threads Of Destiny
I held a gourmet box of pastries as I walked behind my family to the front door of the home we were visiting. It was a lunch invite, a once a year thing we did. We hugged, caught up on the year that was, ate and, bid byes until the next year. I walked back…
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Yin And Yang
“Ooh! I forgot to give mom kisses…” Ammu runs to me and smothers me with kisses all over my face. When I pause to catch my breath, she removes my glasses and attacks me again until I am bent over, wheezing with laughter and desperately trying not to pee. “Screw off” Ammu grumbles when I…
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Leaning Into Joy
I walked around my home in the dead of the night, long past the time the kids and spouse went to bed, with only the twinkling warm lights of the holiday decor for company. I lingered by the nativity, pausing just a bit before the tiny lighted ceramic tree by the doorway, lingering just enough…
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Blunted Grief
As is my morning routine, I call Amma as I walk. She mentions it has been twenty five years since her mom passed away and it hits me with force that I have not thought about my grandma in years now. I sheepishly add a reminder on my calendar — a way for me to…
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Bittersweet Gratitude
I love looking at FB memories first thing in the morning. Considering the platform has been around for almost two decades now and I have been an early adopter, I see glimpses of my pre-motherhood life woven in with pictures and notes from when the kids were younger. Given that I was prolific when it…
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Reconnecting with Reality: My Path to Engagement
On Saturday, I decided on impulse to join a friend and meet with my fellow They See Blue PA members. The election is a raw gaping wound in all of us and I was wary of going there and feeling ripped and being in pain again. But, it helped. Sitting with others who felt more…