Detachment

Left with a couple of hours to kill in a waiting room, I dutifully turned to Facebook and my email. What started as a simple response to an email snowballed into a flurry of emails. Switching off the iPad, I gazed at a corner of the wall and took stock of the situation. The solution was simple in its clarity. If this was something I was unwilling to spend time and mind space on, did I really need to be part of it?

Two clicks and it was done. I removed myself from a group of which I was an active participant of. I was amazed how easy it was. Years back I would have agonized over something similar. I would have spent time and energy clarifying my position and waiting for acceptance. No half measures here I thought to myself.

On my drive home, I mulled over it. I realized that years of learning to establish my identity and learning to value myself were finally paying off. I no longer feel apologetic about removing myself from situations where I feel I offer nothing. I also surprisingly seem to have very little tolerance for drama and emotional baggage.

Back home and washing suds off the dinner plate in the sink, I realized how much I have changed. Detached seems to be the word for the year for me. While I value relationships, I also find it very easy to disconnect and start anew without regrets. Perhaps it is a sign of growing up? Cynicism maybe?