Category: Life
-
The In-Between Space
The pandemic and by association, the seclusion, has afforded me a lot of time to think. I think a lot most days. It is my default setting. I am either reflecting on the past or planning for the future. My thoughts almost always revolve around family or the future me. It is, but natural that…
-
COVID-19 Diaries: In A Rut
Life post book release has gone from adrenaline highs, early morning zoom calls and, signing books to thinking of it all in the past. Work is busy. The children are starting online school in less than a week. Our routine is predictable most days. I wake early, have kaapi with Amma, walk for half an…
-
COVID-19 Diaries: Ceding Control
Waiting. This word in itself sums up the entirety of my existence these days. I am waiting for many things. Sometimes, it feels like all of my life is one big wait for something to happen. Everything is scripted in my head, the joys, the grief, the anticipation, the highs, the lows. It is frozen…
-
COVID-19 Diaries: Life Goes On
It is a bright, sunny day. All through the day, I alternate work, kitchen and online studies with the kids. There is a point towards the end of the workday when I throw in the towel, order the kids off their iPad, their IXL sessions be damned and head out for a bit of fresh…
-
COVID-19 Diaries: Pockets Of Happy
I woke with throbbing pain behind my right eye, the premonition of a raging migraine for later in the day. I powered on, hoping the pain will go away. By mid-day, the light from the screen, the smells from cooking, the sounds of my children happily playing all clashed, clanged and reduced me to tears.…
-
Ten Years. Many Lessons.
This week marks ten years since we went from being a couple to parents of twins. Each year I struggle with marking the day. Obviously, it is of import to me. It also is of import to my children in ways I cannot measure or understand. I consciously stay away from anything celebratory. I…
-
Thank You For Coming To My TED Talk
“Thank you for coming to my TED talk!” I almost laugh out loud as my inner voice makes this statement in my head. Most mornings, I am on the elliptical walking at a moderate pace while my thoughts and ideas jump from place to place. One day I imagine my book signing. I let my…
-
Inscrutable Grief
My toes feel the sand as it oozes through the gaps, a sludge of water and sand. The debris the waves deposit and pull back from the shore sometimes grazes my naked calf. I don’t quite like the sensation, or the imagination my mind conjures. It feels like someone is churning the ocean, generating ripples,…
-
Growing Up
I pass Laddu’s bedroom en route to mine. A cutout of a rainbow is taped to her door. The door is closed. It bothers me but I can’t quite figure out why. I straighten the bed in Pattu’s room. All around me are signs of disorganization. I sigh and look up. On the ceiling right…
-
Vignettes
My watch shows 3:57:03. I should be in the study anxiously poring over my presentation one last time. Instead, butterflies in my stomach I watch through the window as the school bus rolls past our home. Just as I am to turn and walk away, I notice my Amma looking diminutive from the other side…