Lakshmi G. Iyer

Essayist. Author. Memoirist.

Stop and think! 🙂

UL had this nice post on her blog that made me stop and think. Of course, any time there are questions posed I have to answer them. Answer I did but I was not comfortable putting it out there. Being someone who believes in compromise, I figured I would post it but make it password protected so only people who asked me could read. So, here you go!

1. What challenges do I need to resolve in life?

To go beyond being materialistic. By that I mean my eyes are always fixed on the next house, the next job, the next car and so on. K amazes me with his what I call ‘frog in the well’ mentality. Something I started out seeing as negative and now realize is a rare quality in a person. If I learn to be happy as is, that will be one huge challenge I have resolved.

2. What do I dislike about myself and would like to accept?

I dislike the fact that I crave approval. From family. From friends. I dislike the fact that I hardly say/write what I exactly think. There is an inborn prudishness in me that I wish I could unfetter.

If I can learn to accept this is who I am, perhaps I will not have as much resentment build within me?

3. Who do I need to forgive?

Myself. There are things in my mind that I take myself to task for. Have been taking myself to task for over a decade. I want to let go and be forgiving of myself and my actions.

4. What are my dreams and ambition?

My dream is to find something I love doing. I mean wake up and feel enthused about getting to work on it. The word ambition has a different meaning now. I like to think, my ambitions are to be the best mom I can. To be the best wife, friend, daughter, sibling, cousin … to the people around me. Let myself be and learn to take pride in whatever I have.

5. What talents and skills do I need to develop more fully?

Talents? Writing would be one. I know I enjoy expressing myself but more often than not, I lose steam midway. If I can learn to persevere and actually take time to edit and rewrite my thoughts I might someday be proud of my talent. As for skills that need developing they are too many to count.

6. What relationships do I want to develop more deeply?

None that I can think of. Relationships that matter to me are ones I have always prioritized.

Now, if you are still here and would like to answer these questions, please feel free to do so in the comments or email me. I am all ears!

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4 responses to “Stop and think! :)”

  1. UL Avatar
    UL

    Thanks Laksh, I loved to hear such direct answers…you know there’s more similarities between us than differences- no surprise there…will read again and comment soon…wanted to quickly thank you for making a post of it.

    Reply
  2. UL Avatar
    UL

    1. Frog in the well mentality is when a person is ignorant about everything outside his world and so considers his world to be the best and only world, is it not? If the frog in the well knew what was outside the well, he would hop out of it before one could blink. Where as with K, he is well aware of everything outside his world and still CHOSES to remain detached and satisfied with what he has. Ignorance and choice, two different things surely? Or did I get it wrong? But I think I understand what you meant. Like you said, K’s is a wonderful quality to have and that’s what every person should strive for. Laksh, you are already in the right path to resolving your greatest challenge. Acknowledging is the first step…

    2. Who doesn’t crave approval Laksh? Most normal people do…but we could all go beyond that normal if we set our minds to it – You are already beginning to write what you feel and think, takes a lot of courage -atta girl!

    3. Oh yes, we both answered similarly…., sometimes we can be really hard on ourselves.

    4. How about writing? I think you would do beautifully there and enjoy it too.

    5. You should definitely give that talent some priority….life is too short to be wasted away doing things we dont like – personally I am just beginning to realize it myself..

    6. So lovely to hear your top priority is relationships…I have so much to learn from you…

    Thanks again Laksh for sharing this with me, you can stop by my post’s comments section to see what I answered verbatim for these questions and tell me your thoughts…thanks and love, UL

    Reply
  3. suman Avatar
    suman

    Here are mine Laksh. Thanks for sharing yours.

    What challenges do I need to resolve in life?

    Sad but true – it is easier for me to see the big picture and count my blessings when the going is tough. I lose perspective when the going is good, and make mountain out of a molehill. I should not need a setback to bring out the best in me and help me stay grounded.

    What do I dislike about myself and would like to accept?

    That I take out my frustrations, tend to be needy and make unreasonable demands with my husband. I am not like that to anybody else. I know I have a lot of hard work to do to unlearn this behavior, but every bit of it will be worth it.

    Who do I need to forgive?

    My answer would have been different had you asked this question last week. But this week, today, I need to forgive myself – for slacking, for not seeing the big picture. Just that I am not able to, and that’s not a really good feeling.

    What are my dreams and ambitions?

    Plenty of dreams but not particularly an ambitious person. I like to do things for the love of it rather than set targets and chase goals. Would love to teach, give something back to the society, take part in professional dance programs, mentor someone, and in general give my best in all that I do.

    What talents and skills do I need to develop more fully?

    Get better at writing and communication in general, better sense of thalam while dancing, learn to network and small talk, better time management skills, learn to be assertive, learn not to be apologetic.

    What relationships do I want to develop more deeply?

    With my in-laws, my mil in particular. I am a dutiful dil but would like to be more affectionate. One thing I am proud of this past year is I have learnt to stop chasing relationships/friendships that are not meant to be.

    Reply
  4. A-kay Avatar
    A-kay

    Nice to read yours. Here goes mine, if you haven’t read it at UL’s already:

    a) My purpose – my higher calling. I strongly believe that each of us have a higher calling / purpose and are born to fulfill that. I think I am still to understand / identify this, or may be I have and I don’t know it yet 🙂
    b) Short temper (working on this), defending my position to the core even when I know I am wrong (am sure you are no stranger to that 🙂 ), too much sleeping (again, not that you know about it).
    c) Before figuring out whom to forgive, I think I need to learn to forgive. I can forget but never forgive. Guess I should add that to (b) as well. If someone crosses me the wrong way and don’t mean much to me, I forget them 🙂 not sure that is right or wrong. Folks that are close to me are the ones who suffer a lot from me as I tend to never forgive them. I would start with me, when I learn to forgive.
    d) Dream – Get out of life as I know it today and live a simple life in a small town like Mysore or Madurai.
    Ambition – just to be a better person and learn to accept life as unravels based on God’s plan.
    e) For one, I would love to learn Yoga / Pranayama and practice that more regularly. Also, learning to control my thoughts or more precisely, sanchalam (can’t seem to find an apt word in english) and be calm / accepting of life. Learn to live life moment by moment and not constantly thinking about what next and lose the pleasure of knowing NOW.
    f) My relationship with God – we have a rocky relationship I must add :), for most part due to my ignorance.

    Reply

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