I woke early in anticipation of what this day could mean. Will Chithra come? Will I finally get to see the film that has been seven years in the making? What story will Chithra show? How will I be perceived? The questions were many and my stomach felt unsettled. I worked half heartedly before I logged off for the day a little before noon.
“I’ll be back soon.”
I tell Amma as I grab the Amazon return on my way to the train station. The return is quick and painless and I reach the station with more than seven minutes to spare. My favorite playlist is on shuffle mode as I wait. The train pulls in and I don’t see her. Then, I do in the rearview mirror. I roll down the window and call out to her as she passes my car. It is strange to see her without her camera equipment. We chat as I drive.
Lunch is quick. The kids are just as excited to see her. Not yet, she says when they ask if they can see the film. I clear the table, load the dishwasher and run it. It is a little over 1:00 pm when I sit to watch the film. She sits next to me.
The hour and half flies by. She watches me while I watch the film. I tear up at a couple of places. I am smiling most of the time. This story is intimately mine. I watch as my children grow from 10 month old babies to thirteen year old girls in a span of a couple of hours. It is a lot to take in. Some of my most vulnerable moments unfold on screen for the invisible public to consume and comment on. Yet, I am not intimidated.
All of it feels just right. This story is a snapshot in time of what our journey has been. As people we evolve and grow and change. I hug her tightly after I watch it the first time. I make tea and we talk about the scenes and transitions. She talks about the filmmaking process and the scenes she had to sacrifice in order to keep the narrative tight and focused. I nod along, agreeing with her creative thought process.
What I saw today was the well edited raw footage without sound correction, color correct or added music. I can only imagine how much better it will be when all of that is in place. I watch it again, this time taking notes, paying attention to how scenes are edited and constructed to assemble this particular narrative amongst the many different stories that could have been told. I feel a deep sense of gratitude to Chithra for this labor of love and passion. A project that has been seven years in the making, one micro slice at a time.
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