Late night on a Saturday. I am watching GPT-5.6 Sol run processes in the background at work. I turn around to pick a book to read while I wait, and my eyes fall on a clear plastic bag stuffed with freebies. I put the book away and grab the bag instead.
One week ago, our entire family got into our Odyssey to drive the hundred-plus miles to see BTS in concert at MetLife Stadium in East Rutherford. We each had our clear plastic bag: enough snacks to see us through the evening, portable fans, and charging cords. We got food before we reached the venue, at Sanjha Dhaba (sad!), and got dropped off close to 6 PM. The crowds were milling, and we eased in. One of my children couldn’t stand the heat and started feeling sick. Despite that, we plowed on, walking back and forth, trying to find the fan project banners. Then we stood in line, recording how we felt, taking in the ambience, generally excited to be there. We handed out the freebies we had and got some in return. Most people were friendly and gracious. Some were grumpy and would only do trades. We skipped those and eventually made it to our seats.
The evening sun hit us in the face. The stage seemed far even from the 118 section. The Jumbotrons more than made up for the blocked view. A friend from Instagram, Saranya, made her way to say hello to us. It was close to 8:20 PM before the show started, the sun low enough in the horizon for it to pop. The fireworks, the deafening screams, the sea of purple ARMY bombs. They all made it magical. All of us were on our feet the entire time, singing along, laughing, crying, and experiencing a full gamut of emotions.
Some of the moments that stand out from the evening: watching my children enjoy the show as much as I did. One child in particular was teary eyed and sang at the top of their voice, and my youngest kept looking at me as I looked at her. It was just beautiful. “Aliens” and “Mic Drop” hit harder just in the wake of BTS opting out of submitting to the Grammys. The Grammys was a dream they have articulated many times before. One, we as ARMY wished and prayed for them to have. Yet, when they took a stand for themselves, we could not have been prouder. The bit towards the end when the cameras panned through the crowd highlighting the posters people held up, it was many bodies, one beating soul.
It was watching these seven men that I had grown to love, cherish, and appreciate become part of a core memory for all of us. To me, it was like having seen these kids grow up from when they were in their late teens to now being in their late twenties. There was a feeling of pride, and there was also a feeling of ownership. At its core, I guess, that’s what fandom and belonging mean.
That feeling is the one I channeled into a novel. A Star Keeps Its Distance began in a stadium like this one: a writer sent to cover a group she did not choose, finding a belonging she did not expect to find.
I’ve been to many concerts over the past few years. It started with Taylor Swift, then we did Eric Nam, then we did Seventeen, Stray Kids, TXT, Ado, and now BTS. Of all the concerts I’ve been to, the energy and the emotional nature of this experience stood out for me. But more than anything, each of those seven idols owned the stage. It was clear that they loved being under the spotlight. Watching Yoongi live his best life, healed and appearing whole. Watching Jungkook be the diva he is meant to be. Watching J-Hope ooze raw sensuality. Watching V engage playfully with the crowd. Watching Jin hit those notes with emotion. Watching Jimin transform into an ethereal being, each frame begged to be captured on digital film. My bias, Namjoon aka RM aka Joonie, was every bit the leader they needed. He was measured, energetic, goofy and serious by turns.
They loved the adulation and, in turn, felt a sense of belonging with ARMY.
The concert happened a week ago, and it took me this time to process the experience. So, as I was looking through the freebies, a few caught my eye. There was one that said “I survived the BTS ticketing war.” Another was a bag charm of an ARMY bomb. Yet another was a romanization of the Arirang interlude in “Body to Body.” There were a lot of photocards and stickers. There were currency bills with Namjoon, V and, Jimin. There were license cards with the members’ information on them. The ingenuity and the thoughtfulness that went into making these freebies is what makes this community something I am very proud to be part of. Each artifact I carefully packed and put away is a piece of another person who feels the same way about our tannies as I do. The red thread of connection runs worldwide.
In all, it was a night I hope to repeat.
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