Kdrama, Saranghae

“Want to see pictures of my crush?” I ask, a goofy smile plastered on my face. My 13-year-old is scandalized. She reluctantly takes my phone and scrolls through the IG feed I show her. She is quiet and after a beat asks me “Are married women allowed to have crushes?”

I laugh out loud. She joins me and we talk about why it is perfectly okay in my world.

In the past few months, I have been smiling often and for no reason. I talk to myself on occasion. I stay up long past my bedtime binge-watching kdrama. My weekends are structured around the show that is currently my muse. At a time when reading and writing have abandoned me, korean shows and music has been my sustenance. It has nourished my soul, accounted for the dopamine hits and kept me joyful. It is no mean feat this though.

My world these days is filled with ahjussis, ahjummas, unnis, oppas, hyungs and, noonas. I crave back hugs, holding hands and tingly first love feelings. Saranghae I say to myself as I reflect on this strange kind of love that has taken over my heart. School love, college love, mid thirties love. Family bonds, friendship, sisterhood, bromance. These shows do it so well. There is respect, there is family, there is the kind of slow burn I love to watch blossom into love. Most importantly, this falling in love with a new language and culture is what keeps me going back.

South Korea, you have my heart, for now.

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