Category: Daughters
-
Adoption: Complex, Nuanced, Heavy
The music of my teenage fills my ears as I walk and I feel a sense of being cocooned. I hum along with numbers I can remember. The beauty of Urdu washes over me and I am happy. The way one is happy for no reason. Last night, I sat on a two-seater sofa with…
-
Why Homework?
The lights are on at the breakfast table and the dining table. I walk, swinging my arms, hoping my iWatch will count the strides toward exercise minutes. Laddu ambles behind me clicking her flashlight on and off to illuminate what she considers dark corners of the house. Ammu is bent over her homework, way past…
-
Annual Rituals: Back To School
“It’s not fair!” I exclaim to Ammu as the pile of hand-me-downs for Laddu grows in height. “That poor child always wears old stuff.” Ammu is silent as she chews on my remark. In a voice that is careful she says “No, you do actually get her new things.” I let go of my mock…
-
A Tale Of Two Mothers
It is dusk, the clouds have been gathering in force all through the day, threatening rain. I am in my study after what feels like ages. For a week I have been tending to my guests, cooking, cleaning, worrying and walking. Today, the house feels quiet, calm, normal. On Monday, the mother of my older…
-
Girl Code
Laddu is seated at the island, her stubby legs swinging off the tall chair as she watches her sisters come in from school, wash up and take their seats. It is our daily ritual. The kids at the island while I buzz about preparing coffee, setting out snacks and going through their school bags. My…
-
Like A Yo-yo
She rolls to and from me like a yo-yo, the weight of her body propelling her first one way and then another. I clutch at her something fierce and let go with just the same vigor. We are on the bed, Laddu and I. It has been a month since she has given up her…
-
Sibling Rivalry 2.0
“Akka, can you play blocks with me?” Laddu looks at Pattu with pleading eyes. Her Akka looks condescendingly at the magnetic blocks strewn at Laddu’s feet and walks away not deigning to respond. “Akka, open your mouth, I will feed you the gummy vitamins,” Laddu is on tiptoe trying to reach Ammu’s mouth. Ammu’s lips…
-
When I am Gone
She flicks a tear from her cheek, her nervous laugh a cover for unexpected emotion. Pattu reaches out, her fingers lacing themselves through mine. Ammu is on my lap, her neck nestled in the crook of my neck and shoulder. She nuzzles, her cheeks wet with tears. I am overwhelmed. By the tears. By the…
-
Girlfriends
There is frenzied knocking on my bathroom door followed by incoherent yelling. I turn the shower off and manage to catch part of it. “Can Ammu and I go to our friend L and J’s home? Please? Pretty please?” I am impressed by the depth of feelings that pours out of Pattu’s voice. “No! You…