Category: Daughters
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Love That Spilleth Over
Laddu peeks in the study and noticing I am on a work call, closes the door gently behind her as she runs upstairs in search of akkas. Her pigtails bounce up and down as she scampers away and my heart swells with a feeling that feels too big for me. I am disoriented by the…
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Notes From A Newly Minted Working Woman
I survey the place around me from my elevated perch. I am on the elliptical chanting Vishnu Sahasranamam while pushing my body to do more, to sweat more. Laddu walks down from the bed. Her hair is mussed, her face unwashed and sticky from sleep. She lazes on the sofa before me. The twins are…
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Becoming Our Mothers
In the midst of stir-frying a melange of vegetables for my children’s’ lunchbox, I reach out for my phone. I shake the pan on one hand and scroll through my FB feed on the other. I set the pan down and lean on the kitchen counter as I catch up on writing-related posts. Next up…
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Milestone: Ten Years Old
Pattu bounds down the stairs each morning, a full hour before her sister Ammu wakes. Some days she hugs me around the middle. Some days, she sits at the island waiting for her dad to wake and give her company as she brushes. Our early morning conversations are limited but a growing reminder of how…
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Equal Not Same
Laddu and I are at the library. She sports her gingerbread man shaped name tag with pride. Her eyes are bright, curious and taking everything in. The diminutive lady running the pre-k program at the library recognizes her even though it is only her second time there. The little table in front of us has…
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Love Is All That Matters
My iWatch shows 6:46 AM. The king size bed I am in is curiously populated. I am on one side almost at the edge of my side. My youngest is way past the middle on dad’s side of the bed. A little away is Pattu breathing heavily and making it known she is awake and…
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Slice Of Life: Watching Children Grow
Laddu stands in front of me, her body leaner, taller than I thought. I liberally apply a moisturizer to her skin that drinks it in. Her long hair is in braids, one on either side of her face. The baby fat is melting away leaving in place a little girl who is growing way too…
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Adoption: Complex, Nuanced, Heavy
The music of my teenage fills my ears as I walk and I feel a sense of being cocooned. I hum along with numbers I can remember. The beauty of Urdu washes over me and I am happy. The way one is happy for no reason. Last night, I sat on a two-seater sofa with…
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Why Homework?
The lights are on at the breakfast table and the dining table. I walk, swinging my arms, hoping my iWatch will count the strides toward exercise minutes. Laddu ambles behind me clicking her flashlight on and off to illuminate what she considers dark corners of the house. Ammu is bent over her homework, way past…
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Annual Rituals: Back To School
“It’s not fair!” I exclaim to Ammu as the pile of hand-me-downs for Laddu grows in height. “That poor child always wears old stuff.” Ammu is silent as she chews on my remark. In a voice that is careful she says “No, you do actually get her new things.” I let go of my mock…