Literally and figuratively.
Everywhere I turn I see and hear about the wildfires in Australia. I read about yet another senseless war in the making. It feels like there is little point to this existence. The sense of powerlessness is omnipresent.
I turn my gaze inward, to the small circle that is my daily life. The struggle is real. Most days I wake up feeling incapable of raising the children in my life. I feel like their needs are great and I am inadequate to meet all of it. I wonder if there is light at the end of the tunnel.
The sense of feeling overwhelmed is pervasive. I fantasize about going to sleep and never waking up.
Then there are days like today when simple things like a conversation with a friend, the sight of green grass in January, the uneven lettering of my child who cared enough to leave a note in my study, the aroma of the still warm leftovers from the oven lift me up. These things make me believe that there is a lot to live for, fight for and strive for.
There may be little I can do about fires raging across the world from me. There may be token things I can do about a pointless war. There certainly are a lot of things I can do about things under my control like changing directions in parenting, equipping myself to be a good parent and just being there no matter what.
There is really no point to this post other than to remind myself that I can do nothing about the world burning, but I certainly can do things to change my immediate surroundings. Rather than focusing my energies on things I cannot control, I should be gazing inward, doing what I can in things I do have control over.