COVID-19 Diaries: Juggling

I log in with a coffee and croissant by my side. The email volume is low and I figure I might get the dosai and adai maavu done if the day was going to be light. I get up, soak a mixture of rice and dals in varying proportions and return to my seat.

I scan my calendar, respond to emails and hear the chatter of the kids coming down. I head to the kitchen again, heat up milk, get breakfast going and send them their way. The elliptical beckons and I heed. Saathi is already logged in and settled into work. Work calls start at 9:00 am and go all the way to 10:30 am. I take a break, herd the kids to shower and come back to a flood of emails and something that has to be prioritized.

I spend most of the day on calls, looking up things that are new to me and trying to remind myself to breathe. The children do their math, I set up writing prompts for them. I take a break to sit with Laddu and her paper packets.

It is not even 2:00 pm and I am ready to cry. I return to more work calls and a sense of urgency about everything. My twins are behind on their day three work. The rice and dals soaking from the morning are calling me. I heed again, get the grinder going and switch to work mode.

At some point, I make the time to craft an email to my daughters’ teachers explaining why app-based learning may not work for them and suggest alternatives. I hear back in less than an hour with the details I request. This time, I cry, fat tears of happiness.

I end my day a little past 6:30 pm when my VPN cuts me out rudely. All I want to do is curl up with a hot beverage and have dinner served to me. Instead, I have two pans sizzling on the stove and four mouths to feed. I cook, clear and turn the lights out and send a prayer heavenward.

The knowledge that we are in this for the long haul is both sobering and draining. I think of single parents battling it out without help. I think of hourly workers and those who are suddenly without a paycheck and feel a wave of gratitude wash over me. I thank that the only sacrifice being asked of us is that we stay home and stay safe.

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