Category: Parenting
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Dipping Into Daydreams
The comforter is up to my chin. Laddu is sleeping alongside me, her body aligned with my back. I close my eyes and will sleep to take over. I am hyper aware of things while I wait for that to happen. I draw a deep breath and hear the grainy wheezing sound as my compromised…
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Eating my words
I am on the floor, sitting on a padded mattress, Laddu sitting by me as I watch five girls, two of mine take positions on the dance floor. They are laughing and giggling as they figure out where each person needs to stand. The music begins and they groove, their arms and legs moving off…
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Swarming
I am bent double tying the shoe laces, the chill air from the outside seeping in from the now open garage door. Pattu is outside, her pigtail flying in the wind, scootering as she calls it. Ammu waits impatiently for me to be done, her free leg, tapping away. Laddu sits next to her on…
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An Afterthought, Invisible.
A week back I stumbled on something that crossed my timeline on Facebook, the way these memes do. I read, liked and went my way. The thought however, lodged itself in my head and would not let go. I tried pinning it down a couple of times without luck. This morning as I looked at…
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Scripted lives
I stand on the wooden steps that lead away from the kitchen into the garage, holding out pretty backpacks with swirls of color. A heart blinks on one and a butterfly on another. The twins turn their backs to me so I can help them with their bags. I stand as they leave, their rain coats…
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On The Outside Looking In
A revised version of this essay appears in The Smudged Hyphen (2026). Sitting in the midst of a swarming, teeming auditorium packed with kids and parents alike, I felt like I was in a bubble. Untouched, isolated, like an island. As if sensing how overwhelming it felt, one twin leaned on me, her face resting…
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Spreading their wings
I circle the low-slung building that houses the elementary school scanning the sides for parking. Even as I despair of finding one, I spy a red arrow pointing further down for additional parking. The clock reads 5:55 PM. I park and hold the girls close as I follow the crowd to the doors. A few…
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On mothering the second time around
I am leaning over the crib where Laddu lies, legs up in the air. I am about to change her diaper when a little hand shoves a bottle of talc on the changing mat. I turn and Ammu stands arms extended. I take it from her and put it away as I explain why I…
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Notes to my past self
I lie sprawled on the couch. My feet touching Saathi’s as he is stretched out at the other end. Laddu crawls back and forth aligning herself to the planes and angles of his body and the curves and contours of mine. I lie not asleep but in a deep state of exhaustion after what has…
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The not so fine moments of mothering
Mothering is not just rainbows and unicorns. It is the not so fine moments that do not get vocalized.