Category: Feelings
-
Bubbles and bikes
The clock showed a minute to 9:00 PM. The sole light in the vast expanse of our first floor came from the low hanging fixture above my head. I folded clothes. Mechanically and without thought. The evening had been rough. Potty regression? Check. Power struggles? Check. Yelling and screaming? Check. Haggling and cajoling? Check. Crying?…
-
Unspooled
Do you mind if I played oldies on the music system I asked as I prepared to get dinner ready. Saathi nodded and on an afterthought said perhaps we should dig out the old tapes and play them. I mixed the batter for adai when Saathi called out “Tamizh or Hindi?”. “Tamizh” I responded without…
-
Room with a view
I look at the clock. It is a quarter to 3:00 PM. A little late for lunch I decide and whip up a churumuri kind of snack. Salad veggies chopped, a pinch of masala, a spoon of chutney and leftover mixture. I settle back on my chair and work while I eat. I could get…
-
Friend Envy
I sit at the kitchen island, my brows furrowed and an intense look on my face. My fingers fly on the keyboard ensnaring thoughts as they threaten to escape. The cooker hisses mildly in the background. “It shouldn’t have to be this hard!” I think to myself. I remember the evening before. I walked the…
-
Letting go
“Come and get me!” Ammani taunted as she stood a mere yards away from me, a white fabric frisbee in her hand. I sat panting after playing catch with Ammu and Pattu in the yard. “Am coming..” I yelled even as I heaved my heavy frame and went lumbering after her. I felt my tummy…
-
Those shoes
I sat half-turned to my neighbor at work. “Is that a picture of your daughters?” she asked eagerly stopping by to peek at my wallpaper. I beamed as I said “yes!”. We traded notes on our kids and drifted off to how it was a light day at work. Then it happened. I wondered if…
-
Gray days
I gently lock the double glass doors behind me and linger just a second longer taking in your weary eyes, shaggy hair and the air of resignation about you. I lean over the sofa to kiss soft heads good-bye before scanning the room a last time as I close the door behind me. I sit…
-
It’s not personal. Really!
Driving back home this evening I realized with a sigh that all of my usual victims were unavailable to give me company on my long drive home. I alternated between a local FM channel and NPR. The need to connect to a live person was visceral. So, my mind wandered around the US map, zoning…
-
The weight on my shoulders
The cool light from the half moon filtered through the trees casting long shadows as we walked. I walked a couple of paces behind K. The light fell on the cherubic face of Cee whose eyes were fluttering shut and arms circled K in a sight that was heartbreakingly beautiful. The silent tall figure striding…
-
Letting go. Holding tight.
I shuffle and drag my weary feet to the sink, rinse my plate in the cool water, let it drip and on an afterthought, leave it in the sink. I rest my hands on the ledge debating. I let it be. Drying my hands on the moist towel, I flick the kitchen lights off and…