Feelings, Friends, Friendship, Personal

Essay: On Loss and, Love

I talk as I walk to the voice on the other end which is a tad weakened as it traverses the eight thousand miles from India to make its way to me. I strain to listen, filling in missed syllables knowing the words she would have used from our years of association. By the time […]

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Feelings, Food, Love, Musings

Saaptiya?

The children troop in, one after another, tired, messy hair and cold. The routine is the same every day. I insist they put their boots away, hang up their jackets and use the bathroom before snack time. I stand by the kitchen island, three bulging school bags lined next to each other. I am methodical. […]

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Feelings, Happiness, Musings, Personal

Empathy

I remember to wear my turquoise fleece top to my dental appointment. The office is well appointed and lighted but cold. I check myself before I get in the car. Insurance, HSA card, and license are all in there. The wait is short and I am in my chair before I know it. It is […]

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About Me, Adoption, Aware parenting, Blogging, Celebrations, Daughters, Desi Adoption, Education, Experience, Family, Feelings, Gratitude, HuffPost, HuffPost Parents, Interview, Mom, Moms for a better world, Mother's Day, Motherhood, Mothering, Musings

BBC Asia Radio Interview 

The alarm went off at 3:00 AM and I stood sipping coffee in the cool back patio of my sister’s home while my Amma sat on the recliner inside listening intently to the radio online. She made a picture. Her eyes narrowed in focus, her glasses perched midway on her nose. Her coffee cup sat to […]

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Family, Feelings, Home, Life, Musings, People, Personal, reflections

You Are Not Alone

“What is on your mind?” exhorts Facebook when I turn to my phone in a moment of despair “Craptastic (pun intended)” I type and then backspace, watching each letter and my life disappear into an unseen void. My fingers are smudged with dosa batter drying into a white powder that flakes off as my hands […]

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Abstract, Armchair activism, Everyday, Experience, Feelings

Inequities 

The view out the balcony mirrors my mood. Patches of grey sky peek in between the dense upper branches of the tree by the apartment block. Dead limbs hang limp. Tiny buds peek through the very tips of the healthy ones.  I hear raised voices again from the other side. I feel my body shake. […]

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Feelings, Happiness, Musings, Personal

Lullaby and goodnight

If there is one thing I regret in earnest since laddu was born, it is that I cannot sing to save my life. As I hold and rock her back and forth as she expresses her frustration the only way she knows, I wish from deep within that I could croon to her. That the […]

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Family, Feelings, Happiness, Life, Musings, Personal

Unharried moments

In a couple of hours, we will wind down what has been an uneventful yet memorable two weeks of staycation. Each day started predictably with the twins snuggling in bed with us. What followed was largely dictated by the weather and where their rich imaginations led them. Some days they built towers with blocks mimicking […]

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Abstract, Feelings, Personal, reflections

Warning: Hurt feelings ahead

“If you hurt my feelings one more time…” Pattu looks at Ammu with threatening eyes. Ammu replies hardly looking up from her coloring book “I hurt your feelings already. I hurt you first!” Saathi and I grin across the dining table and file these conversations to retold and enjoyed years later. My mind however is […]

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Blogging U, Feelings, People, Writing 101

Lost and found: Life goes on

Balancing a load of folded clothes in my hands, I spy the letter for the twins I have to file away in their memento box. Picking it up I gingerly make my way upstairs. Stowing away clothes, I take the letter to my room and open up the grey suitcase that houses things old and […]

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Adoption, Blogging U, Feelings, Writing 101

I was never the same again

The mountains shimmered in the evening sun. They looked gray, forsaken, eerily beautiful. The roads stretched like ribbons weaving in and out of the mountain town. Desolate. My eyes were vacant. My mind numb. I looked into the barrenness of the horizon and saw myself. There was no pain. Just emptiness. A good part of […]

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