Category: Feelings
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Paying Tributes Over Time and Space
I eye the phone longingly. My fingers itch to dial Amma’s cell phone number but I desist. I can picture my family this morning. All of my dad’s siblings and their spouses gathered to observe the yearly anniversary of my Thatha’s passing. I imagine the kitchen busy, bustling. I can almost see my aunts and…
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Coffee And Conversations
She walks down rapidly, a speed that belies what time it is. Her face is scrubbed, a hint of damp from washing her face and drying it. Her fingers are cold as they reach for my arm. Her lips are deliciously chill as they land on my cheek. “Good Morning Amma!” Pattu exclaims as she…
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Inequities
The view out the balcony mirrors my mood. Patches of grey sky peek in between the dense upper branches of the tree by the apartment block. Dead limbs hang limp. Tiny buds peek through the very tips of the healthy ones. I hear raised voices again from the other side. I feel my body shake.…
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Reflections on being a stay at home mom (SAHM)
Hold that thought right there. No, this is not another post debating the relative merits of working or not working. Or being a mom or not. 🙂 I set the pan with water to boil for my afternoon coffee. Laddu is straining to be taken off the high chair where I have her squirming and…
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Right here. Right now.
The baby swing in the back yard sways in the breeze. I notice Ammu and Pattu in my peripheral vision trying to dislodge a ‘popsicle’ from the faucet on the outside of the house. It is bitterly cold. My nose burns. I feel alive. I glance absently at the stretch of road visible from my…
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Lullaby and goodnight
If there is one thing I regret in earnest since laddu was born, it is that I cannot sing to save my life. As I hold and rock her back and forth as she expresses her frustration the only way she knows, I wish from deep within that I could croon to her. That the…
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Unharried moments
In a couple of hours, we will wind down what has been an uneventful yet memorable two weeks of staycation. Each day started predictably with the twins snuggling in bed with us. What followed was largely dictated by the weather and where their rich imaginations led them. Some days they built towers with blocks mimicking…
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Warning: Hurt feelings ahead
“If you hurt my feelings one more time…” Pattu looks at Ammu with threatening eyes. Ammu replies hardly looking up from her coloring book “I hurt your feelings already. I hurt you first!” Saathi and I grin across the dining table and file these conversations to retold and enjoyed years later. My mind however is…
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Lost and found: Life goes on
Balancing a load of folded clothes in my hands, I spy the letter for the twins I have to file away in their memento box. Picking it up I gingerly make my way upstairs. Stowing away clothes, I take the letter to my room and open up the grey suitcase that houses things old and…
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I was never the same again
The mountains shimmered in the evening sun. They looked gray, forsaken, eerily beautiful. The roads stretched like ribbons weaving in and out of the mountain town. Desolate. My eyes were vacant. My mind numb. I looked into the barrenness of the horizon and saw myself. There was no pain. Just emptiness. A good part of…