Anniversary, Journal, Love, Personal

COVID-19 Diaries: Anniversary

Nineteen years is a long time. It is even when you factor in the first few years when you are getting to know the person, the next few years when you are struggling to build a family, the years after that are consumed by nurturing this hard-built family. We have both grown. We have both […]

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Anniversary, Love, Musings, Personal

A Good Man

I am sending some emails when a new one downloads. Saathi the name reads and my face breaks into a smile. Reflexive, something I cannot control. The subject says, “Your PECO bill” and I almost laugh. In the ten days I have been away from home, I haven’t caught myself thinking about him or the […]

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Anniversary, Love, Musings, Wedding

State Of The Union – Sixteen Years

I watch him squint in the twilight, his face looking bare without glasses. “Can you read this?” he holds a tiny molded toy (Tsum Tsum for the initiated). I look at it in turn and give it back. I can barely see anything. “Made in China,” he reads and looks at me expectantly. I stare […]

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Anniversary, Love, Musings

Tripping On Memories

  I love looking back. I collect memories. I relive the years gone past. I look into old photographs and see past the people in the pictures. I am transported back to slivers of time preserved in my head. These memories, they swirl in my head like in a pensieve, dragging me along into corridors […]

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Anniversary, Appa, Life

Memories don’t fade

Yesterday was one of those days when I woke with a heaviness in my heart. The kind you keep to yourself. All day, it lay there subtly beneath the layers without rearing its head. Sitting across my amma, it finally popped out. The untold, unasked questions. Are you feeling sad I asked. Did not think […]

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Anniversary, Family, Happiness, Life, Memories, Personal

Ten Treasured Years!

Eager eyes, heart beating faster, I spy the rather large car filled with people come to a stop before the house. I suddenly feel nervous. I run upstairs before anyone has a chance to catch me at my most vulnerable moment. I slink back unseen, mustering courage, a smile firmly in place. I sit on […]

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Anniversary, Appa, Family, Feelings, Life, Memories, Personal

In memoriam

Today marks four years to the day since Appa breathed his last. As my mother, sister and I stood around his bedside and watched the monitor mark the end, it also marked the end of an era. A period of my life marked by unconditional, silent love. Today as I grieve the loss of my […]

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Anniversary, Happiness, Life, Love, Personal

Nine and counting

You stand by the doorway one hand on the door, shooting lingering glances at our daughters. You bend down one more time to kiss them good-bye before you leave for work. I watch as you reluctantly close the door behind you giving me a quick nod as you go down the stairs. I hear the […]

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Anniversary, Appa, Life, Memories, Personal

Remembering Appa

Late yesterday evening as the closing credits rolled on screen after the movie ended, I was a sobbing blubbery mess. The lines were fuzzy between the body on the funeral pyre on TV and the one of Appa in my mind. That one image was enough to send me back three years in time to […]

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Anniversary, Feelings, Home, Life, Musings, reflections

A peek through my window

Waking up to the sound of the telephone ringing, I sauntered over to the little balcony in our bedroom overlooking the tiny woods in my backyard. The windy morning was beautiful. Yellow leaves floating gracefully to our wet deck. The smell of rain. A fog in the making. I realized with a smile that it […]

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