I check my email as I head upstairs for my shower. The inbox remains stubbornly empty. I put the phone on the night stand by my bed and head into the bathroom. I am pleasantly surprised by my lack of disappointment. By nature I am impatient. If I am waiting for a response, it haunts me till it arrives. I wear disappointment on my sleeve moping for days before I shrug it off for the next big thing. So, today when I have been waiting for a few days for something and nothing shows up, I am mentally prepared to be anxious. The lack of anxiety is unsettling in some ways.
The hot water cascades on me and brings with it startling epiphanies. With age truly comes wisdom I realize. Wisdom here being truly a euphemism for being disinvested in outcomes. Over the years I have realized when I pursue something with passion, my happiness hinges on the outcome. I am looking so much at the closed door that I forget the lessons I learned on my way.
I am not sure when this changed but of late, I seem to accept that the end I am pursuing may not happen, it matters though that I give my very best. It also is true that there are lessons on the way worth more than the outcome.
With every challenge life has thrown at me, my perspective has changed. With age does come wisdom.