It is almost 6:00 pm. My mind is thinking about what to make for dinner. The IM on my work machine pings. The request is almost always polite, there is an illusion of choice. “I can do it,” I say. I want to be done with it as well. It is well past 7:00 pm … Continue reading COVID-19 Diaries: The Elephant In The Room
“Vandhacha?” I text my sister. The message says delivered but there is no response. I put my phone down and walk around the house. I clear the sink, I grind the coconut, green chiles, curry leaves, and cumin. I check my phone every once in a while. It is when I am tempering cumin in … Continue reading Unsung Heroes: The Woman In My Life
“Take a picture” I beg Saathi as I scramble to get out of the house. He looks at the lamp above and declares it will not be a good picture. He takes one anyway and it is bad. I grab my phone, collect my folder, new bag, water bottle and get into the car. I … Continue reading An Average Day
My iWatch shows I have about 4K steps to my self imposed goal of 10K steps a day. I walk around the house as lightning glows outside. A peal of thunder is enough to shake me from my reverie. I look outside and the weeds that have taken over my front yard irk me. A … Continue reading Milestone: Re-entering Workforce
I sit between two women at the tae kwon do class my twins are at. We trade smiles each time one of us turn toward another. We are tentative, jabbing, probing with our eyes, ears and spidey senses to see if there will be a connection. We have forty minutes to kill. Our younger ones … Continue reading Deconstructing Self Worth
In the semi darkness as I rocked laddu to sleep, my mind played back a phone conversation from earlier in the day. "Do you plan to go back to work?" asked a friend. "Probably. Just not sure when" I answered then. The conversation shifted to other things but I kept revisiting my answer that just … Continue reading Journey. Not a destination.
Sometime this week a year ago, I traded in my full-time job for something more flexible. A stay at home, work at my pace kind of compromise. The past year has been rewarding and in some ways been reshaping my views on financial independence. The first few months were heady. I did not miss the … Continue reading A year in review
I look at the clock. It is a quarter to 3:00 PM. A little late for lunch I decide and whip up a churumuri kind of snack. Salad veggies chopped, a pinch of masala, a spoon of chutney and leftover mixture. I settle back on my chair and work while I eat. I could get … Continue reading Room with a view
In the past few months, a new kind of fixation has taken hold of me. Articles on how women can have it all, cannot have it all, should have it all, should not have it all. All parts of the spectrum have been written, blogged, discussed ad nauseam. As I read each one, I nod … Continue reading Stark reality
I hurry down the sidewalk eager to make the turn into the building and disappear into the humdrum of daily work life. Peeling the earmuffs, I stuff them into my already bulging bag, dig out my badge and wait for the elevator to ding. The door opens and a person I knew from my orientation … Continue reading LMT – Being noticed
We stood in a circle like we always do. At the turn of the hour, the stand up meeting commenced. We each clearly stated what we had done, what we had left and impediments if any. As is the rule, when everyone who had a stake in that release had their say, the floor was … Continue reading What’s in a title?
I sit sniffling away to glory at my desk surreptitiously discarding soggy tissues in the trash can under my desk. I wipe my desk every once in a while feeling almost guilty for having come to work. Staring long and hard at an issue I should have fixed hours back, I realize I need a … Continue reading Ode to kindness
Seated at an odd angle to the projected screen, I angled my head to get a better view of the presenter. A balding pate, a face that seemed to smile even he was not, eyes that seemed gentle. The CEO of my new workplace was giving us a peek into his vision as part of … Continue reading An upside down world
Standing in a line that snaked through the room and back, I stood unsure of what to do with my arms. Folding them self-consciously across my trunk, I looked around. People around me seemed happy in their little circles. Half sentences from all around me were clashing around in my brain. I was listening to … Continue reading Lonely. Not alone.
I stood juggling four pans of various dishes either simmering, roasting or frying this morning. The microwave beeped and a small glass bowl with ground masala sat there staring at me. For a minute I was not sure what I was doing or what needed to be done next. Gathering my wits around me, I … Continue reading Imagery
Standing by my bed under yellow light bulbs, my feet were killing me. It was a long day. Folding a million tiny pieces, I longed to wave a magic wand so everything would be done and I could rest my weary feet. Except I couldn't find my magic wand or conjure up my pixie. Sighing, … Continue reading Re-ordering priorities
Rushing back to my seat after a mid day break to visit my dentist, I spied this colleague who joined the company around the same time I did. We never really worked together but were loosely part of the same group. From shy smiles we transitioned to waves and talking about the weather over the … Continue reading Hey mom! How are you?
These words have never rung so true than this week. Three plus years into my current job, I am revisiting the fundamentals of the proprietary software we work with and as I go over each element of the complex maze that our product is I feel amazed at how far I have come. As I … Continue reading To teach is to learn again
I remember thinking when I first started my career that managers had a great time. All they did was answer emails and monitor people. How much easier could it get? While I am no way near being a manager, I am feeling the pressure of increased responsibilities. While my mind plots devious ways of escaping … Continue reading With great power comes great responsibility
Walking to my desk this morning, I smiled and let a lady go ahead of me. Crossing another balding gentleman, I waved a hi! and struggled up the stairs. Crossing the kitchen, I noticed a bunch of people with coffee mugs and I realized I knew each one of them by name. Suddenly it hit … Continue reading Nearly three years – That is what it takes…
Wrapping up after our hour long weekly status call, three of us huddled over a laptop trying to figure something a colleague had issues with. Two of the three of us were new to this particular paradigm of programming and it fascinated me that the other had dove right in and was making progress. On … Continue reading Working for the love of it