Literally and figuratively. Everywhere I turn I see and hear about the wildfires in Australia. I read about yet another senseless war in the making. It feels like there is little point to this existence. The sense of powerlessness is omnipresent. I turn my gaze inward, to the small circle that is my daily life. […]
Read moreLament Of A Weary Soul
It is the seventh time I tell her. It upsets me that I am keeping count. I yell the eighth time only to elicit a “Please!” from the spouse. The rage I feel toward him is many folds larger than my irritation at my child for dallying around, refusing to shower. It takes a toll. […]
Read moreThings We Don’t Talk About
Warning: Not my usual kind of writing. Read at your own risk. I woke this afternoon from my nap feeling gross. My body is going through a period of change. In the erratic swinging of hormones, I find myself raging relentlessly. Sometimes I rage physically, my voice reaching octaves higher than normal. Some days, I […]
Read moreThe Making Of A Home
It is nearly 2:00 in the afternoon and I realize with a start that I have not had a chance to sit down yet. I am not sure what I have been doing so I sit down and actually make a list. Make coffee Unload dishwasher Make eggplant fry Pressure cook rice Make almond chutney […]
Read moreWhat Adoption Is NOT
Early this morning, I sat in my study, my chores done, the kids playing in the basement, Saathi out to work. I scrolled through my Facebook feed, then turned my attention to Twitter. After following chatter about #45’s early morning Twitter meltdown, I caught up on other friends. One conversation upset my equilibrium. I could […]
Read moreThe Spectacle That Is Death
I scroll through my twitter feed, aimless, bored. I hit the search button and key in #Jayalalithaa the results stream in reiterating the same things from the last time I searched about an hour ago. I am fascinated. I am obsessed. I am morbidly curious. In 1999, my Appa lay in the same hospital in […]
Read moreOn marriages, love and excuses
Seated across the office at the children’s school for a small talk on adoption (a whole another post altogether) being a means to build a family, I engaged in conversation with the administrator. It started simply enough with her advising a colleague about dresses on sale at David’s Bridal. “You only wear it once!” she […]
Read moreOn pins and needles
One of the defining parts of being pregnant for me is dealing with gestational diabetes. It is something that requires conscious thought, planning and management on a daily basis. Right from remembering to give myself shots, finding a spot that is not sore from repeated pricks, meal planning, remembering to test, remembering to log and […]
Read moreLife is whizzing past…
Ever get that feeling that you are caught on the median with vehicles flying past both ways wondering if the pace will ever let up leaving you with space to cross? I’ve felt that way for a couple of days now. I feel like everything is flying past me and I have to catch up […]
Read moreTired of it all
Tired of the BS. Tired of waiting. Tired of being miss goody two shoes. Tired of having the right attitude. Tired of looking at the best in life. Tired of pushing down the overwhelming pain in my gut. Tired of being sunny. I give up. I know. I know. It is a phase. Things will […]
Read moreWhen the joke is on you
Stepping outside a friend’s home yesterday night, I bid bye and one of the guys said something to mock my tambram lingo. I ignored it to the image of the rest of them laughing good naturedly as we left. All the way home, it burned in the back of my head. I argued with K […]
Read moreEntitlement
All my life I grew up feeling entitled to a whole lot of things like a happy childhood, loving parents, a roof over my head, clothes the way I wanted it. You name it. In the natural progression of things dictated by what my peers did, I felt entitled and more often than not, got […]
Read moreWhat Will Others Say?
“Our neighbour has invited me to receive thamboolam…” said my mom and trailed off. I could visualize what the rest of her sentence would look like. I wanted her to go of course but the conversation eventually wound up with “What will others say?” This is typical of most of the conversations I have with […]
Read moreMellowed down?
Watching K drive away for his regular Saturday cricket matches, I picked up the phone to call my mom like I usually do. Half an hour later enthused by reaching out to mom, I scanned the list of people in my address book and worked my way down. I called most people I wanted to […]
Read moreWhy not me?
A few minutes back, K forwarded an email containing baby pictures from a common friend. I looked at the pictures, duly wrote a response and realized I was annoyed. Before anyone jumps to conclusions, I was annoyed because the friend in question really was my ex-colleague. I was miffed that I was not copied on […]
Read moreMy calendar is full!
Yes. I was looking at my calendar this morning and realized from this weekend through mid September I know what I am doing every single day of the week. It is unnerving. I know it is true for most of us but some how the realization is bothering me. Is that how I was growing […]
Read moreWhen?
When I read articles like this one that appeared on CNN today it irks me no end. Not only because it portrays India in a bad light but because with one generalization, the media paints over a broad spectrum of people. With a country as populous as India, there are bound to be pockets where […]
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