Journal, Musings

COVID-19 Diaries: Politics, Race, Children

There is a pain between my shoulder blades that is nagging. It has been a week. I lower myself to the ground so my upper back can find something firm to rest upon. My kaapi is by the side. I snack on cheese curls as I scroll through my feed. Hasan Minhaj’s video has been […]

Read more
Children, Daughters, Reflections

The Race Conversation

“What is the meaning of race?” My elbows are flat against the kitchen island, my face level with my girls. “Run?” “Bring children up?” The twins come up with every possible meaning but the one I was curious to know what they knew. We drank our kaapi, set Laddu up so she could Facetime her […]

Read more
Musings, Race

Conversations On Race

My girls and their cousins are snuggled up on the couch, sharing two throws between them. The lighting is muted. I am on a reclining single sofa by myself, my neck craned at an angle to watch the movie with them. Every few minutes when a significant scene occurs on screen, I am watching the […]

Read more
Musings, Reflections

Observer And The Observed

She arrived by the morning train early on Thursday carrying equipment that occupied more than two unwieldy bags. She filmed us setting up the Golu. She was there, a tangible presence as we squabbled, as we debated on the order of the Dasavatharam. She was that silent fly on the wall as we rehashed stories, […]

Read more
Adoption, Identity, Musings, Race

Identity And Belonging

Two nights ago, I sat in a darkened room at my local library with a bunch of strangers watching a documentary on race. “I am or How Jack Became Black” by Eli Steele is one of those rare movies that catalyzes uncomfortable conversations. I stood by the small table I had set up with snacks […]

Read more
Adoption, Interview, Musings, Race, Radio

On Air With The Takeaway

A month back I wrote about visiting the WHYY studio in Philadelphia to record a conversation with my children’s mother. We spoke about race, about what it means to share children across racial lines. Most of all, we spoke about the kind of world we want our children to inherit. The series is called Uncomfortable Truths. […]

Read more
Life, Musings, Personal, Race

Co-opting Words

I sat between my twins, Laddu on my knee as the opening credits for Hidden Figures rolled on the screen. Pattu jiggled her knee, a clear indication she was done waiting for the actual movie to start. I hit pause and gathered the eight-year olds close. “This is a movie for grown-ups. There is a […]

Read more
Adoption, Interview, Musings, Race

Waking Up

The study door is locked. I have my earphones on. The house is eerily silent. My phone rings and for a second my heart stops. My “Hello!” is tentative as I wait for the voice on the other end. We talk for over forty-five minutes. My children’s mother, one of The Takeaway’s producers Dana Roberson […]

Read more
Musings, Race

Of Standing In Judgement

A couple of days back, we sat as a family at the dinner table passing rotis and subzi and talking about our day when Pattu decided to show us her newfound trick of drinking water from a tumbler without touching it to her lips. We were suitably awed and I quipped “you have earned your […]

Read more
Aware parenting, Musings, Parenthood, Parenting

The Friendship Dynamic

“You have American friends! It is OK for Indians to be friends with Americans?” Pattu is at the kitchen island sipping warm milk with honey when she makes a statement that is posed as a question. Thrown for a loop, I wonder why she is pontificating on deep questions early in the morning. It takes […]

Read more
Color, Life, Musings, Race, reflections

Colored thoughts

Last evening I sat down for dinner with an old friend by huge glass windows that overlooked the patio of the eatery we were at. Unfolding her napkin gently, she laid it across her lap and nibbled on her dinner. I dug in with gusto punctuating my conversation with references to the momentous route K and […]

Read more