Children, Family

COVID-19 Diaries: Pandemic Pets

I watch as my middle child sneaks furtively into the kitchen and scamper out with a disposable plastic container. I call out to her and she freezes. She hands over the container and refuses to answer my questions on what it was for. I am miffed and curious but not suspicious yet. A little while […]

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Feelings, Friends, Friendship, Personal

Essay: On Loss and, Love

I talk as I walk to the voice on the other end which is a tad weakened as it traverses the eight thousand miles from India to make its way to me. I strain to listen, filling in missed syllables knowing the words she would have used from our years of association. By the time […]

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Politics

Personal Politics

I step out in the predawn light ready for my walk when I spy the sign by the garage entrance. My walk timer is already on. I pause it while I consider where to put the sign up. I skip the lawn or the strip by the pavement even though it would be more visible […]

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Daughters, Milestones, Musings, School

Milestone: Fifth Grade Graduation

For the last day of the school year, today did not seem any different from the three months preceding this. When the school decided to close on March 13th, there were no goodbyes, no last day pictures, no walkouts to cheering children, no teary-eyed parents waiting in the wings to ferry their children to douse […]

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Family, Gratitude, Love, Musings

Contrarian Love

“Can I get a pair of diamond solitaire earrings?” My tone is playful. He responds with gravity, asking me a zillion questions and finally pronounces that yes he will. “Can we adopt twins?” His immediate reaction is one of incredulity and anger. The next morning, he is sheepish as he agrees to expand our family […]

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Feelings, Happiness, Musings, Personal

Empathy

I remember to wear my turquoise fleece top to my dental appointment. The office is well appointed and lighted but cold. I check myself before I get in the car. Insurance, HSA card, and license are all in there. The wait is short and I am in my chair before I know it. It is […]

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Musings, nostalgia

The Dada Cup

It is not yet 6:00 am. I unload the dishwasher. I like the quiet this time of the day. I go about my work methodical, intentional. The last items to come out of the dishwasher are the coffee mugs. Even as I pull them out, I hear footsteps coming down the stairs and look up […]

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Gratitude, Musings, Thanks, Thanksgiving

Gratitude: The Decade Long Version

The water undulates in front of me. It is mesmerizing, the flecks of blue and gold, the buoys bobbing up and down. Most importantly, I am alone, a rare occurrence in my life as a mother and wife. The sounds around me are soothing, the road noise, the water lapping against the concrete barrier. Even […]

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Deepavali, Diwali, Musings, nostalgia

Diwali: Past And Present

The email from HR arrived suddenly, unexpected in its subject line. “Diwali,” it said. The body was sparse, requesting any of us who had the time to stop by HR for a quick chat. New to the company (relatively) and therefore without deadlines hounding me, I took the stairs to the third floor and found […]

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Life, Musings

The Color Of Regret

The garage rattles noisily when I press the switch. I wince. It is not yet 6:00 am. The breeze feels deliciously chill when I drag the two-wheel toter that houses my garbage bags out to the edge of the driveway. I position it and return for the tub containing recycle trash. I stand for a […]

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Aware parenting, Children, Musings

Untaught Lessons

I am driving home from my brother’s place. Amma is in the passenger seat beside me. Pattu and Laddu are in the back seat bopping to the music streaming from my phone. In the front, we are catching up on the weekend and trading stories. New Rules by Dua Lipa comes on. I lip sync […]

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Back to school, Laddu, Milestones, School

Fleeting Childhood

She is staring out the window, a stuffed bear under her elbow, a piece of paper with the drawing of a little girl in her hand. In a week she will set foot into a new era. One in which her life will be ruled by teachers, friends and timers. In the eight months she […]

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Musings

A Certain Smugness Of Being

My call is just about over when a frantic text pops up on my phone. I ignore it and focus on being present, engaged and active. The call ends and I pick the phone up and go for a walk. I walk around my office building, a concrete tower that is older, stark and bereft […]

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Musings, Personal

Disquiet

It is early in the morning. The kids are still asleep. It is one of those rare weekend mornings when I have the house to myself and nothing on my agenda, not even making breakfast. The air is chill, in the upper fifties. I am walking around in a gray faded capris and a much-loved […]

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Life, Mom's life, Musings, Personal

Drifting

I am on the phone with my Amma as she prepares to leave to India for the winter. My cell phone rings flashing the number of an old friend. I hang up and reach for my cell phone. This woman and I go back a decade, working alongside on a banking software product. We exchange […]

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Appa, Family, Father, Loss, Musings

Losses Unknown

“Can you show me a picture of thatha?” Laddu asks, thrusting an old album at me. “Sure!” I say as I flip open the book. In my head, I am thinking Giri thatha, my Appa who never knew his granddaughters. I know though that she is talking about Rajamani thatha, the only one she has […]

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Gratitude, Musings, Thanksgiving

Things I Am Grateful For This Year

My phone dings as I walk, interrupting the mellifluous voice of M.S. Subbulakshmi. I ignore the sound and continue walking. The air is chill and my nose is dripping. In the forty minutes that I take to circle the seventy odd homes that comprise my development, I see no other humans. I am home, mildly […]

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