COVID-19

COVID-19 Diaries: Past Midway Point

I casually look at the calendar one morning and I am taken aback we are in August already. August spells back to school, Fall, cooler weather, and festival season. In any other year, this would have been when I am scouring back to school lists, actively networking to find which kids are in my children’s […]

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Journal, Musings

COVID-19 Diaries: Politics, Race, Children

There is a pain between my shoulder blades that is nagging. It has been a week. I lower myself to the ground so my upper back can find something firm to rest upon. My kaapi is by the side. I snack on cheese curls as I scroll through my feed. Hasan Minhaj’s video has been […]

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Daughters, Milestones, Musings, School

Milestone: Fifth Grade Graduation

For the last day of the school year, today did not seem any different from the three months preceding this. When the school decided to close on March 13th, there were no goodbyes, no last day pictures, no walkouts to cheering children, no teary-eyed parents waiting in the wings to ferry their children to douse […]

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COVID-19, Musings

COVID-19 Diaries: Exhausted!

It is not yet 8:30 pm. The exhaustion I feel is bone-deep. My day began around 5:30 am and it has been a whirl of activity. Working, cooking, cleaning, feeding, and sitting with decimal math for two kids at the fag end of a long day took everything out of me. The average course load […]

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Christmas, holidays, Musings

Tis The Season To Be Merry

Just as Thanksgiving wraps up and I reconcile myself to the start of the cold season, the sight of lights going up on my neighbor’s roof cheers me up. I watch as other homes follow suit. One Saturday morning, I go downstairs to the basement where my stash of seasonal décor sits and pull out […]

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Aware parenting, Children, Musings

Untaught Lessons

I am driving home from my brother’s place. Amma is in the passenger seat beside me. Pattu and Laddu are in the back seat bopping to the music streaming from my phone. In the front, we are catching up on the weekend and trading stories. New Rules by Dua Lipa comes on. I lip sync […]

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Daughters, Family, Kids, Love, Musings

Love That Spilleth Over

Laddu peeks in the study and noticing I am on a work call, closes the door gently behind her as she runs upstairs in search of akkas. Her pigtails bounce up and down as she scampers away and my heart swells with a feeling that feels too big for me.  I am disoriented by the […]

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Musings, Valentine, Valentine's day

Love, The Cheesy Commercial Version

I roam the aisles of Target as I wait for prescriptions to be filled. Laddu’s hand is in mine. She stops every now and then, pointing, asking, demanding. We meander to the back of the store where hearts are hung from the ceiling and the predominant color is red. I look through the mostly empty […]

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Life, Musings

In The Eyes Of The Beholder

The house is quiet. Saathi is clacking away at his keyboard at our kitchen island. I am tempted to go find what the girls are up to. Instead, I find a pair of socks, wear my sneakers and head out for a walk. It is fall weather. The sidewalk all around the community I live […]

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Children, Everyday, Everyday pleasures, Musings

Waiting For The Shoe To Drop

The sound of drums and cymbals reverberate through the house. I am at the stove sauteeing a mix of onions, tomatoes, ginger and curry leaves. The smell is sharp, pungent and reminiscent of my past. Saathi is sprawled on the sofa watching the Wimbledon Mens Semi-Finals the way I get immersed in books. I envy […]

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Musings

Outpacing Me

Ammu hands out small disco bands when I ask her to. Laddu is trying hard to be still as I first part and then make two braids on either side of her face. Pattu is drying herself and preening in front of the mirror. The changes have been gradual, creeping up until one day they […]

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Musings, Summer

Summer Of Impatience

Laddu runs into the study as I sit, brows furrowed looking at my incomplete book proposal wondering what on earth am I signing up for. She holds out her old Halloween costume, a faded Olaf. “Amma, akkas are playing dress up. How could I dress up?” I am tempted to correct her but I smile […]

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Daughters, Musings

Girl Code

Laddu is seated at the island, her stubby legs swinging off the tall chair as she watches her sisters come in from school, wash up and take their seats. It is our daily ritual. The kids at the island while I buzz about preparing coffee, setting out snacks and going through their school bags. My […]

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Fun, Musings

On Letting Myself Be

The smell of chlorine hangs in the air, faint and teasing, a memento from our trip to a local water park. I hang out the swimsuits to dry. The suitcases are unpacked. The children are fast asleep after an exhausting day wading in the kiddie pool, chasing waves, floating on tandem floats, jumping on lily […]

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Musings, Parenting

Flying Solo

I wake up in the dead of the night. Squinting, I realize it is 2:00 AM. I slide out of Laddu’s bed noiselessly and pad my way to my bed. Even as I decide to use the restroom, Laddu plods in behind me, her plaintive cry raising my hackles. Irritably, I climb into the cold […]

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