Musings, SAHM

The Struggle Is Real

“You are burning up!” I yell at someone in my dream. The feeling is too real. I wake up with a gasp and realize that Laddu is in bed, her arm resting on mine. Her skin is hot to touch. I touch her forehead and with a sigh push the covers off and make my […]

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Musings

Walking Back On A Promise

The house is silent. A little too silent for my taste. Grief is a strange animal. It creeps on you like a fog, inching its way up slowly and before you know it, you are covered, smothered and struggling to breathe. In the first few days after Darla came home, I realized I was in […]

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Mothering, Musings

Imperfect Love

My hand shakes a bit as I shape the batter on the sizzling tawa resulting in an imperfect heart. I try to fix it and end up making it misshapen. I dot the edges with ghee and feel frustration overwhelm me. The clock reads 8:16 AM. Six minutes before the bus will trundle past my […]

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Mother's Day, Musings

Mother’s Day – Gifts and Guilt

“World’s best mom!” declares the decorated frame on door leading from the garage. Childish scribbles proclaim love. I smile each time I pass the door, occasionally lingering to touch the hearts made from red marker. Exhaustion and an irritation that has been building through the day escapes through a fissure caused when I open the […]

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Musings, Personal

Gendered Decisions

It is early evening. I type away on my work laptop, wrapping up unfinished work. The crying sounds from above filter through the receiver near my desk. I sigh, push my chair back and sprint upstairs. I pick laddu up and hold her close. Her head slumps on my shoulder and her body relaxes as she […]

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