COVID-19 Diaries: Life Goes On

It is a bright, sunny day. All through the day, I alternate work, kitchen and online studies with the kids. There is a point towards the end of the workday when I throw in the towel, order the kids off their iPad, their IXL sessions be damned and head out for a bit of fresh … Continue reading COVID-19 Diaries: Life Goes On

Ten Years. Many Lessons.

  This week marks ten years since we went from being a couple to parents of twins. Each year I struggle with marking the day. Obviously, it is of import to me. It also is of import to my children in ways I cannot measure or understand. I consciously stay away from anything celebratory. I … Continue reading Ten Years. Many Lessons.

Untaught Lessons

I am driving home from my brother's place. Amma is in the passenger seat beside me. Pattu and Laddu are in the back seat bopping to the music streaming from my phone. In the front, we are catching up on the weekend and trading stories. New Rules by Dua Lipa comes on. I lip sync … Continue reading Untaught Lessons

Love That Spilleth Over

Laddu peeks in the study and noticing I am on a work call, closes the door gently behind her as she runs upstairs in search of akkas. Her pigtails bounce up and down as she scampers away and my heart swells with a feeling that feels too big for me.  I am disoriented by the … Continue reading Love That Spilleth Over

Notes From A Newly Minted Working Woman

I survey the place around me from my elevated perch. I am on the elliptical chanting Vishnu Sahasranamam while pushing my body to do more, to sweat more. Laddu walks down from the bed. Her hair is mussed, her face unwashed and sticky from sleep. She lazes on the sofa before me. The twins are … Continue reading Notes From A Newly Minted Working Woman

Becoming Our Mothers

In the midst of stir-frying a melange of vegetables for my children's’ lunchbox, I reach out for my phone. I shake the pan on one hand and scroll through my FB feed on the other. I set the pan down and lean on the kitchen counter as I catch up on writing-related posts. Next up … Continue reading Becoming Our Mothers

Milestone: Five Years Old

“Can I towel myself off?” “Can I put Aveeno all by myself?” “Can you help me with my shirt?” “Can you warm this pasta up?” “What did you pack for lunch today?” “Can I have some chutney please?” This girl of mine is exceedingly polite. She says sorry and thank you. She asks for permission … Continue reading Milestone: Five Years Old

Milestone: Ten Years Old

Pattu bounds down the stairs each morning, a full hour before her sister Ammu wakes. Some days she hugs me around the middle. Some days, she sits at the island waiting for her dad to wake and give her company as she brushes. Our early morning conversations are limited but a growing reminder of how … Continue reading Milestone: Ten Years Old

Be Careful What You Wish For

A few weeks back as I nuzzled the top of Laddu’s head as she curled up against me in the afternoon, I felt an intense need to keep her close and never let go. It hit me that this child will soon be in Kindergarten, taking the bus with her sisters. This time I get … Continue reading Be Careful What You Wish For

Outpacing Me

Ammu hands out small disco bands when I ask her to. Laddu is trying hard to be still as I first part and then make two braids on either side of her face. Pattu is drying herself and preening in front of the mirror. The changes have been gradual, creeping up until one day they … Continue reading Outpacing Me

Girl Code

Laddu is seated at the island, her stubby legs swinging off the tall chair as she watches her sisters come in from school, wash up and take their seats. It is our daily ritual. The kids at the island while I buzz about preparing coffee, setting out snacks and going through their school bags. My … Continue reading Girl Code

Fun In The Sun

After what seemed ages, we had a sunny day today. The kind of day writers eulogize as bright, cheery, clear, warm and happy. A little after breakfast, Ammu and Pattu were nowhere to be seen. After peering through the windows to see if they were biking outside, I looked in the garage and the two … Continue reading Fun In The Sun

These Little Girls Of Mine

She stands in her batik printed dress, the silky fabric clinging to her body as she strikes a pose for me. I click and I am taken aback by the young woman staring back at me in the photo. I turn the phone off and suggest that she wear a Capri pant underneath. Year over … Continue reading These Little Girls Of Mine

Girlfriends

There is frenzied knocking on my bathroom door followed by incoherent yelling. I turn the shower off and manage to catch part of it. “Can Ammu and I go to our friend L and J’s home? Please? Pretty please?” I am impressed by the depth of feelings that pours out of Pattu’s voice. “No! You … Continue reading Girlfriends

Serenading My Darlings

I watch from the front door, the stoop damp from all the snow melt as my children trudge through slushy piles of melting snow and ice. Their backpack hangs heavy from their shoulders. They carry a huge unwieldy  trifold board in their hands struggling to keep it off the ground. “I love you.” My voice … Continue reading Serenading My Darlings

Birthday Musings

Ammu nuzzles my cheek with her nose, throws her arms around my neck, kisses me and flits off to do whatever it is she is occupied with at the moment. Today she is working on a school project. There are sticky notes all over the place. She painstakingly colors the first American flag and sketches … Continue reading Birthday Musings

Coffee And Conversations

She walks down rapidly, a speed that belies what time it is. Her face is scrubbed, a hint of damp from washing her face and drying it. Her fingers are cold as they reach for my arm. Her lips are deliciously chill as they land on my cheek. “Good Morning Amma!” Pattu exclaims as she … Continue reading Coffee And Conversations

They Will Be Okay

It is raining, a miserable grey day punctuated with bouts of soggy wet rain, the kind that does not let up and instead drips all day filling the air with the indescribable smell of things disintegrating and returning to its elemental forms. The alarm goes off and I hit the pause button on the episodes … Continue reading They Will Be Okay

Lucky Dad, Lucky Us

I sit on my recliner idly browsing through pictures on my phone. Marking a particularly nice one as favorite, I turn to show it to Saathi only to find his seat empty. I instinctively turn toward the kids and he is on the floor, Pattu on his lap. The three kids are enjoying their homemade … Continue reading Lucky Dad, Lucky Us

On kids, growing up and gratitude

I stand on the stoop, Laddu in my arms, the fall air refreshingly crisp. Ammu and Pattu walk along the pavement, their strides keeping pace, their arms gesticulating wildly as they make their way to the bus stop. I stand watching till the bus leaves and I head back inside. Laddu demands to be set down … Continue reading On kids, growing up and gratitude