It is Friday afternoon and my social media feed is already showing Mother’s Day ads and wishes. I am irked, annoyed and sometimes, downright angry. My mother lives with me. I raise three daughters. This Mother’s day feels like it should be a day for all those who are tangentially connected to the act of…
One of the moments from our trip is this picture of white sand/gypsum flowing freely from my husband’s hand. The loose grip, the easy flow, the few grains of sand stuck to the hand after, all gone after a wipe down. Often in my open adoption journey, I am asked if I worry about my…
I have a question about safe haven laws. You can terminate parental rights by relinquishing a child after giving birth. The cases emphasized the burden of parenting. But women don’t have to parent if they don’t want to! Why don’t safe haven laws take care of that? https://www.businessinsider.com/amy-coney-barrett-asks-safe-haven-laws-solutions-unwanted-motherhood-2021-12 Amy Coney Barrett is a mother by…
Read more Amy Coney Barrett – Emblematic Of All That Is Wrong With Adoption
A chance conversation with my daughters’ mother yesterday had me thinking long and hard about the past eleven years that have defined my life, my identity and, influenced my creative work. With so much focus on adoption this month surrounding NAAM (National Adoption Awareness Month), I have been a curious onlooker. Early in my life…
On average, I field 2-4 calls a month from hopeful adoptive parents. Sometimes, google throws up my name. Sometimes, they stumble on my blog and reach out. Most of these people are desi like me. They are away from the homeland and are mulling adoption for one of two reasons. “I have tried all avenues…
I have a piece up on Brown Girl Magazine today. Hop over and check it out if you have not done already.
Earlier in October, Carrie Goldman who runs the Portrait of an adoption series on Chicago Now reached out asking if I would like to submit a piece for their 10th anniversary run. I agreed and thought about what I wanted to write given this is National Adoption Awareness Month. The liminal space in adoption is…
I woke up to a message on FB with a link to this Buzzfeed article on Myka Stauffer. Prior to reading the article, I had no idea who she was. It is a reflection on how little I am connected to the world of influencers and their ilk. I read the article a few times.…
So, I have news. “Why is my hair curly?” will be available on Amazon in a few weeks in Kindle format. The physical book will take a couple of months to be available given the lockdown in India. While I wait for the book to be available and permission to share the cover for the…
Each November adoptionland is rife with op-eds, hashtags, conferences, panels and social media blitzes by all members of the triad. #FlipTheScript was all I heard over the past few years. I listened hard and reflected on what I heard. Some years, I wrote about my experience with openness in the context of our lives. This…
Read more #NAM2018 National Adoption Awareness Month: What Can Adoptive Parents Do?
My daughter, all of nine and I are standing, facing each other. I hold a tube of cucumber face pack and apply the goo in an even layer all over her face. I avoid her fine blond hair, so pale that I have to look carefully to even see it. Up close, her face is…
Spoiler Alert. I highly recommend you watch the movie before reading I watched the trailer for Three Identical Strangers end of June this year. I was fascinated. Not just because this was a story of adoption but because it seemed too incredible to be true. The dramatic music, the reenactments and the hints of something…
“I am bored!” The words seem to resound, bounce off the walls of our home over the weekend. If they were not out biking or prone on the sofa, eyes glazed over, watching something inane on the television, they start like cicadas, a lone voice, growing, amplifying into a resonant chorus until I either yell…
An essay I wrote earlier this year reflecting on how my mothering my children feels cleaved is now online on the Adoptive Families Magazine website. If you are not a subscriber, you can read the piece here: Adoptive Motherhood_Cleaved.
cleave1split or sever (something), especially along a natural line or grain.“the large ax his father used to cleave wood for the fire” cleave2stick fast to.“Rose’s mouth was dry, her tongue cleaving to the roof of her mouth” adhere strongly to (a particular pursuit or belief).“part of why we cleave to sports is that excellence is…
A few weeks ago, I went through a spell where my head was full of thoughts. Disjointed, nostalgic, angst-filled thoughts as I navigated reaching out to relatives of my children I found out through DNA testing. The writer in me saw stories in the making. As an observer, I wanted to record so much of…
I am crouched behind the door, my large frame cramped on the tiny steps leading down to the basement. Pattu and Laddu are downstairs in the room farthest from where I am and I can still hear the muted sounds from the iPad they are playing with. Ammu is seated on the stairs across from…
A friend recommended this book on Goodreads and on impulse, I checked it out from my library. At a little under 500 pages, it took me two days to finish the book. The story is about two women. Solimar from Mexico who dreams of getting to and building a life in America. Kavya, a Berkeley…
The alarm went off at 3:00 AM and I stood sipping coffee in the cool back patio of my sister’s home while my Amma sat on the recliner inside listening intently to the radio online. She made a picture. Her eyes narrowed in focus, her glasses perched midway on her nose. Her coffee cup sat to…
I sat sipping my coffee at a friend’s home at San Diego relaxing after a hectic day at Disneyland chasing faeries and princesses. The phone dinged and an email from a Huffpost editor popped up. I spent the next half hour crossposting an old piece I had written for Adoptive Families and emailed the editor…
“I don’t like my fake name” muttered Ammu, my first daughter. I was bent over the stove tossing rice noodles in a base of lemon and sesame oil. The heady aroma of tempered mustard and curry leaves almost made me miss the statement. A part of me always attuned to disturbances in the air peaked…
Lakshmi Iyer 