COVID-19 Diaries: The Elephant In The Room

It is almost 6:00 pm. My mind is thinking about what to make for dinner. The IM on my work machine pings. The request is almost always polite, there is an illusion of choice. “I can do it,” I say. I want to be done with it as well. It is well past 7:00 pm … Continue reading COVID-19 Diaries: The Elephant In The Room

Unsung Heroes: The Woman In My Life

“Vandhacha?” I text my sister. The message says delivered but there is no response. I put my phone down and walk around the house. I clear the sink, I grind the coconut, green chiles, curry leaves, and cumin. I check my phone every once in a while. It is when I am tempering cumin in … Continue reading Unsung Heroes: The Woman In My Life

Milestone: Re-entering Workforce

My iWatch shows I have about 4K steps to my self imposed goal of 10K steps a day. I walk around the house as lightning glows outside. A peal of thunder is enough to shake me from my reverie. I look outside and the weeds that have taken over my front yard irk me. A … Continue reading Milestone: Re-entering Workforce

Filial Expectations

I am at the stove deep frying thenkuzhal, a golden extrusion of rice and lentil flours fried and drained on paper towels before being inhaled. Amma stands next to me painstakingly filling the extruder for me to use for the next round. She then walks over to cut cabbage for the evening dinner. She is … Continue reading Filial Expectations

Deconstructing Self Worth

I sit between two women at the tae kwon do class my twins are at. We trade smiles each time one of us turn toward another. We are tentative, jabbing, probing with our eyes, ears and spidey senses to see if there will be a connection. We have forty minutes to kill. Our younger ones … Continue reading Deconstructing Self Worth

Leaps Of Faith

We stood near the vintage microwave, a relic from the 80’s J. C. Penney electronics division, a probe sunk partly into the milk, the temperature set to 180 degree Fahrenheit. The sounds of my children running around, jumping on bubble wrap and generally being themselves was incongruous for what was a fledgling office space. Makeshift … Continue reading Leaps Of Faith

A Tale Of Two Mothers

  We roamed the mall side by side, me in my elastic waistband lounge pant and she in her jeans. We gawked the name brand stores, stepped inside H&M and walked out with bags. We sat by the water fountain, cups of coffee in hand and a box of pretzel bites on the table before … Continue reading A Tale Of Two Mothers

In Limbo

It is past 9:30 AM. Kids are in school, the kitchen is as clean as I can muster energy for, the laundry is done and I am showered and ready with nowhere to go. I walk around the home mentally going over the list of people I could call. I give up and put the … Continue reading In Limbo

Thoughts On Stay At Home Parenthood

Laddu is on her chair, the booster seat enabling to see the food in front of her. Saathi and I are across from each other, eating and sharing notes on the day. Her hands reach out for morsels, her eyes are bright and she is a full participant at dinner. I watch her haggle and … Continue reading Thoughts On Stay At Home Parenthood

The Unbalanced Life

“You should think about gainful employment,” my mom says to me as I sit on the floor, legs stretched out, my youngest clambering all over me. “Someday I will, I say…” and let the pause linger. I am tempted to justify my decision. My mind goes back to the October when I finally made the … Continue reading The Unbalanced Life

A year in review

Sometime this week a year ago, I traded in my full-time job for something more flexible. A stay at home, work at my pace kind of compromise. The past year has been rewarding and in some ways been reshaping my views on financial independence. The first few months were heady. I did not miss the … Continue reading A year in review

My kind of perfect

I woke up from a nightmare. Except this was mid-day. Feeling very relieved that I was alive and better yet, I was not slipping in some quicksand, I brushed my teeth and went down. I had to rub my eyes yet again. The sink was clean. The kitchen sparkling and two loads of laundry done, … Continue reading My kind of perfect