Insidious Memories

The grated daikon glistens with moisture as I add finely diced green chillies to it. A sprinkle of sea salt and I am ready to make the dough. As I pound and shape the dough, memories seep in. The three of us in the kitchen. One at the stove, the other perched on the counter … Continue reading Insidious Memories

Hope and Grief – Twin emotions

* Not suitable if you are looking for something feel good. Folding a humongous pile of clothes my mind wanders in a thousand scattered directions. The muted volume of the TV murmurs in the background. I take pause and notice every detail around me. In the mellow yellow glow of the recessed lighting everything looks … Continue reading Hope and Grief – Twin emotions

Feeling blue

This week has been strangely restless. I feel this acute sense of aging and life rushing past me. I feel caught between feeling regrets for the things that can't be and an indifference to what lies ahead. While I know this is just in my head sometimes it begs of me to be written somewhere. … Continue reading Feeling blue

Linked by loss

Plate in hand with pure white curd rice, I hesitated a moment between the curried vegetable and tomato thokku and helped myself to a generous helping of the pickle. As I ate taking care to keep the white of the curd rice unsullied by color, I was reminded of my Appa. "He used to love … Continue reading Linked by loss

Entitlement

All my life I grew up feeling entitled to a whole lot of things like a happy childhood, loving parents, a roof over my head, clothes the way I wanted it. You name it. In the natural progression of things dictated by what my peers did, I felt entitled and more often than not, got … Continue reading Entitlement

Rest in Peace Uncle

As is my customary ritual I emailed my cousin V detailing my weekend jaunts. She replied back in an hour talking about her weekend and finished of her email with news of a family friend's death. Somehow, reading her email made me feel sad. Real sad. For the longest time when I lived in CBE, … Continue reading Rest in Peace Uncle

Calling in life and other things

In one of my regular conversations with my friend, we went down a rather thought provoking discussion on how does one discover their calling in life. What if I went all through my life not knowing I was destined for something different. It could be as trivial as a change in career or something that … Continue reading Calling in life and other things

Health is wealth

K and I drove with a friend to visit a colleague who was in the hospital after something he ate did not agree with him. While the details of what exactly is wrong with him are murky, seeing him pale and tired in the hospital bed drove home the point how much we take our … Continue reading Health is wealth

In grief we unite

As my mom spoke of yet another good friend who lost her mom this past week, I slipped into a melancholic state. The raw feelings of grief that washed over me when I realized my dad's loss revisited me all over again. No matter our age, it is always hard to deal with the loss … Continue reading In grief we unite

Of lingering regrets

Friday night we had a graduation party to attend to. Armed with The Code Book by Simon Singh, we showed up a few minutes into the party. As we sat around in their spacious living room and exchanged pleasantries with the other guests, I noticed that almost all of them who were there had kids. … Continue reading Of lingering regrets

Then and now

Photographs have a way of making me melancholy. I look at pictures from my past and relive the moment the picture was taken. Sitting on my desk at work is a picture of my dad in his blue collared tee shirt with red horizontal stripes spaced wide apart. He has a nice smile and his … Continue reading Then and now

Epiphany – A sudden manifestation of the essence or meaning of something.

This word has fascinated me many times. I heard it used by many people. I never quite got what it meant. Till yesterday. I had an epiphany. It feels good saying that. I have to go back a bit to explain what I feel. Over the years there have been many things I have craved, … Continue reading Epiphany – A sudden manifestation of the essence or meaning of something.

Giving up control = Faith?

"When Man loses faith in himself, he starts believing in God!" This used to be Appa's response whenever I asked him why he turned from someone with no overt faith into one who experienced a sudden revival in faith towards the last decade of his life. Today I think I got what he meant. It … Continue reading Giving up control = Faith?