Category: Pregnancy
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So Long, Farewell!
The number on the scale triggered an upheaval in me I had not expected. I stepped out, stepped back on again. The number stood unbudging. I expected to feel elation, instead, I felt disquiet. The kind that echoes of rumblings across time. The last time I had seen the same number was the day I…
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Giggles, Wiggles and Jiggles
I sit on the step in the garage leading to the door. Ammu is on my lap, her cheek nuzzling mine. We do nosy rubs and sit, rocking back and forth. Pattu circles around on her bike within the garage watching us as we wait for the bus. The door behind me opens and Saathi…
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The birth story
We set out, Saathi and I leaving pieces of ourselves behind as we turned the corner of our home. The garage doors rolled down behind us hiding Ammu, Pattu and my Amma from view. I held back tears as we set out on a new journey. The car ride to the hospital was silent and…
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D-Day
It is 10:00 AM. Tonight is when I get admitted at the hospital. I sit in front of my laptop with a cup of warm barley water by my side. The to-do lists are scrolling through my head but all I feel is malaise. It is chilly inside the house. I pull my sweater closer.…
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Hunkering down
Fresh from a deep nap in the afternoon, I finally decided to open up my laptop and scan through my inbox to see if there were emails that needed attention. For weeks now, I have stayed clear of most forms of communication. Sure, I check my email and my social media accounts. I lurk invisible…
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Natural instincts
For days, the anxiety has been building. A feeling of restlessness and a fear that I will never be prepared enough. A week back, I trudged to the basement and hauled a suitcase two floors up. It sat there on my dresser collecting toys and odd scraps of paper that the twins decided was essential…
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Time honored traditions
As I turned the lights out last Tuesday night, the last thing imprinted on my mind were the plastic bags with fruit, flowers, parupu thengai and silver vessels laid out on the kitchen island. A day of meticulous preparation and gathering of items needed for a puja the next day at the temple. In my…
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Appointments, NSTs and more
I drove to the second of my NST (Non Stress Test) appointments this week with trepidation. No, it was not the appointment that worried me. It was the roads and the snow. Snow which fell in huge fat flakes and melted against my heated windshield. Gripping my steering, I made slow progress along the roads.…
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Celebrations
I lean back on the recliner adjusting my frame for maximal comfort and rest my arms across my torso. My eyes fall on the silver bracelets that encircle my wrists. Burnished silver specked with brown beads. I finger them lazily and my thoughts go back to the weekend. A montage of memories slide past my…
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Coveting
There are some things that get burned in your psyche long before you realize its import. The black saree was one of them for me. I have always loved black as a color. So, when someone in the family purchased a black Mysore silk for her traditional baby shower (valai kaapu), it was etched in…