Musings, Pregnancy

So Long, Farewell!

The number on the scale triggered an upheaval in me I had not expected. I stepped out, stepped back on again. The number stood unbudging. I expected to feel elation, instead, I felt disquiet. The kind that echoes of rumblings across time. The last time I had seen the same number was the day I […]

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Body Image, Musings, Pregnancy

Giggles, Wiggles and Jiggles

I sit on the step in the garage leading to the door. Ammu is on my lap, her cheek nuzzling mine. We do nosy rubs and sit, rocking back and forth. Pattu circles around on her bike within the garage watching us as we wait for the bus. The door behind me opens and Saathi […]

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Motherhood, Pregnancy

The birth story

We set out, Saathi and I leaving pieces of ourselves behind as we turned the corner of our home. The garage doors rolled down behind us hiding Ammu, Pattu and my Amma from view. I held back tears as we set out on a new journey. The car ride to the hospital was silent and […]

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Feelings, Life, Personal, Pregnancy, reflections

D-Day

It is 10:00 AM. Tonight is when I get admitted at the hospital. I sit in front of my laptop with a cup of warm barley water by my side. The to-do lists are scrolling through my head but all I feel is malaise. It is chilly inside the house. I pull my sweater closer. […]

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Pregnancy

Hunkering down

Fresh from a deep nap in the afternoon, I finally decided to open up my laptop and scan through my inbox to see if there were emails that needed attention. For weeks now, I have stayed clear of most forms of communication. Sure, I check my email and my social media accounts. I lurk invisible […]

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Feelings, Personal, Pregnancy

Natural instincts

For days, the anxiety has been building. A feeling of restlessness and a fear that I will never be prepared enough. A week back, I trudged to the basement and hauled a suitcase two floors up. It sat there on my dresser collecting toys and odd scraps of paper that the twins decided was essential […]

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