Appa, Loss, Musings, Pain

Ten Years Of Grief

I pause at the doorway, my eyes lingering on the monthly planner. The kids have been crossing out days religiously since the beginning of the month to Thanksgiving. My eyes however, have been on a different date. The funk has been closing in on me like an ominous bubble. Sometimes they are visceral, sometimes they […]

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advice, Feelings, Musings, Pain, People

What would you do?

How do we go about shielding loved ones from hurt? When I hear someone I care about being upset or hurt about something I have no control on. I ache. I ache for the person feeling bad. I feel frustrated and helpless. Sometimes my frustration appears harsh. In the process of trying to make things […]

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Memories, Musings, Pain, Personal, reflections

Vaanga oru kaapi saaptu polaam…

Am back in the waiting room for ICU attenders at a hospital in suburban Trichy. The room painted a shabby yellow was extremely clean. An old lady sat muttering in a corner swiping furious glances at other inhabitants and deftly packing pohailai, paaku and sunnambu into her vetrilai. A lady with four daughters sit in […]

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Life, Musings, nostalgia, Pain

Life goes on

One year back, the last Sunday in October, my dad complained of not feeling well. His words “I feel uncomfortable.” I was standing in a phone booth an overnight train journey away with a sinking feeling in my stomach. I walked back home my mind in a whirl of thoughts. I see Saathi in the […]

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Feelings, Pain, Personal

Fragmented existence

Lonely not aloneA smile hiding the painLump in the throatA feeling of hope-less-ness… One of those days when I look towards the future and see only two silhouettes walking into the sunset. My mental picture looks incomplete. It is also one of those days where I acutely feel the hope-less-ness. I try telling myself to […]

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