Truth Permits Us Space To Hold Duality

Earlier in October, Carrie Goldman who runs the Portrait of an adoption series on Chicago Now reached out asking if I would like to submit a piece for their 10th anniversary run. I agreed and thought about what I wanted to write given this is National Adoption Awareness Month. The liminal space in adoption is … Continue reading Truth Permits Us Space To Hold Duality

Adoption: Do Not Adopt Unless You WANT To

I woke up to a message on FB with a link to this Buzzfeed article on Myka Stauffer. Prior to reading the article, I had no idea who she was. It is a reflection on how little I am connected to the world of influencers and their ilk. I read the article a few times. … Continue reading Adoption: Do Not Adopt Unless You WANT To

Musings: Openness In Adoption

I walk around the house mid-morning, my eyes scanning for things to put away or trash. I am tired of the disorganized mess I live in. I am too tired to fix it. My eyes fall on a ring on the floor of Ammu’s room. I pick it up and tuck it into my pocket. … Continue reading Musings: Openness In Adoption

#NAM2018 National Adoption Awareness Month: What Can Adoptive Parents Do?

Each November adoptionland is rife with op-eds, hashtags, conferences, panels and social media blitzes by all members of the triad. #FlipTheScript was all I heard over the past few years. I listened hard and reflected on what I heard. Some years, I wrote about my experience with openness in the context of our lives. This … Continue reading #NAM2018 National Adoption Awareness Month: What Can Adoptive Parents Do?

Open Adoption: Real Lives. Real Impacts.

My daughter, all of nine and I are standing, facing each other. I hold a tube of cucumber face pack and apply the goo in an even layer all over her face. I avoid her fine blond hair, so pale that I have to look carefully to even see it. Up close, her face is … Continue reading Open Adoption: Real Lives. Real Impacts.

Open Adoption Goes Both Ways

“I am bored!” The words seem to resound, bounce off the walls of our home over the weekend. If they were not out biking or prone on the sofa, eyes glazed over, watching something inane on the television, they start like cicadas, a lone voice, growing, amplifying into a resonant chorus until I either yell … Continue reading Open Adoption Goes Both Ways

Essay: Motherhood, Cleaved

An essay I wrote earlier this year reflecting on how my mothering my children feels cleaved is now online on the Adoptive Families Magazine website. If you are not a subscriber, you can read the piece here: Adoptive Motherhood_Cleaved.

Motherhood, Cleaved

cleave1split or sever (something), especially along a natural line or grain."the large ax his father used to cleave wood for the fire" cleave2stick fast to."Rose's mouth was dry, her tongue cleaving to the roof of her mouth" adhere strongly to (a particular pursuit or belief)."part of why we cleave to sports is that excellence is … Continue reading Motherhood, Cleaved

Mommy, Mommy: The Soundtrack To My Life

My hands circles her tiny body, my face pressed against her back as she sits and turns the pages of the Llama Llama book I got from the library. Her voice falls up and down, the cadence of it lulling me into a sense of bliss. I am almost asleep when she abruptly flings my … Continue reading Mommy, Mommy: The Soundtrack To My Life

On Fears And Expanding Horizons

I park and zip my rather loose fleece jacket as I step out the driver’s seat. I open the passenger door and Ammu and Pattu clamber out. I remind Ammu she needs her light jacket. She pauses as if to challenge me and reaches for her old faded grey fleece. I remember to lock the … Continue reading On Fears And Expanding Horizons

A Word Here, A Connection There

In the many years, I have been a blogger, I have often paused to consider what I am doing. I have often been asked why I share so much, put so much of myself online. The questions have made me reevaluate what I do, how I write and how much I share. The breaks have … Continue reading A Word Here, A Connection There

Hypotheticals

“Amma, can we please let Snowflake free?” Ammu pleads with me, still sleepy-eyed at 6:30 AM in the morning. “After you are back from school,” I say. “But amma, imagine if you were stuck in a box for monnnnnths…” she continues, her angst making her drag out the words. “I am not an elf and … Continue reading Hypotheticals

Of Struggling With Labels

“I don’t like my fake name” muttered Ammu, my first daughter. I was bent over the stove tossing rice noodles in a base of lemon and sesame oil. The heady aroma of tempered mustard and curry leaves almost made me miss the statement. A part of me always attuned to disturbances in the air peaked … Continue reading Of Struggling With Labels

Open Adoption – Reflections On The Journey

I sat at my desk browsing for gifts, ears keenly attuned to the sounds from the adjoining family room. I’d let my twins sit at their table, their art pads open and one single instruction. “Make a card and write a note in it for your mom’s birthday. All I ask is that you think … Continue reading Open Adoption – Reflections On The Journey

Revisit, Reconnect, Renew

We reached in the dead of the night, picking up room keys from a sleepy employee who went through the motions of showing of where our room was and mentioning breakfast would be served from 6:30 AM to 9:30 AM. Setting an alarm for 6:00, we fell into a sleep that was deep and devoid … Continue reading Revisit, Reconnect, Renew