Category: Memories
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I Set Out to Organize 155,919 Photos. I Ended Up Organizing Memory
I had 155,919 photos spread across five devices. Three iPhone exports, a MacBook backup, folders from a Vista laptop I haven’t touched since 2012, and whatever survived a Windows XP machine that once lived under my desk. All of it dumped into a clunky hard drive carrying years of documents and memories. I wanted them…
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Blunted Grief
As is my morning routine, I call Amma as I walk. She mentions it has been twenty five years since her mom passed away and it hits me with force that I have not thought about my grandma in years now. I sheepishly add a reminder on my calendar — a way for me to…
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Mother. Daughter. Mother.
“Skipping time” Amma calls out to my prepubescent youngest child who is upstairs talking to a friend over Facetime. I am in the kitchen doing dishes, amused by the interaction. I hear the sound of jumping upstairs as Laddu counts and jumps a hundred times. She is out of breath but rushes proudly to her…
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Ten Years. Many Lessons.
This week marks ten years since we went from being a couple to parents of twins. Each year I struggle with marking the day. Obviously, it is of import to me. It also is of import to my children in ways I cannot measure or understand. I consciously stay away from anything celebratory. I…
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Spaces
I walk around my home, my iWatch tracking my steps, urging me to walk 11 minutes more at a brisk pace so my move goal could be met. I walk, my arms swinging, my eyes tracking my children as each play in their own way. Laddu is astride her soft, stuffed unicorn, urging it to…
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Present And Past
I absently look at the white board calendar in the mudroom as I pick jackets for the kids from the cedar chest. Pattu is wiping the last of the month with her fingers and dabbing at her sleeve when she thinks I am not looking. I smile and urge her to change into school clothes.…
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Paying Tributes Over Time and Space
I eye the phone longingly. My fingers itch to dial Amma’s cell phone number but I desist. I can picture my family this morning. All of my dad’s siblings and their spouses gathered to observe the yearly anniversary of my Thatha’s passing. I imagine the kitchen busy, bustling. I can almost see my aunts and…
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Recreating Traditions – Deepavali 2016
It is dusk, the light giving way to the dark as the shadows lengthen in my family room. Laddu is on my lap. I want to lie down and sleep but I am sitting ramrod straight, keeping a wary eye for gurgling noises before she throws up. Ammu and Pattu sit in matching pista green…
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Nostalgia
Dusty. The tar roads felt soft to my flip-flops as I walked to the house for the first time. The summer heat scorched the city when we moved from cooler, less humid climes there. It was a modest house. I remember lying awake at night as the rain pelted the windows and listening to frogs…
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Meaningful Melodies
Today’s prompt over at Writing 101 takes me back a good decade or more. To a time when I had just discovered music beyond what I saw on television or heard on the radio. It brings back memories of rainy evenings spent browsing the music section of a store I frequented then. Of being lost…
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Hurtling through the past
A place belongs forever to whoever claims it hardest, remembers it most obsessively, wrenches it from itself, shapes it, renders it, loves it so radically that he remakes it in his own image. – Joan Didion The year was 2000. The city was Bangalore. I remember speeding through the roads in the dark, the lamp…
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Unexpected treasures
It was well past sunset as we set out in PJ’s and multiple layers of clothing. Our car trunk loaded with perishables from the fridge and the freezer. As we navigated slick turns on a deserted road, the headlights caught in the icicles dangling off tree branches and twinkled eerily. It felt like Narnia except…
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The year in review
The end of the year brings with it nostalgia. For the days gone past and the milestones left behind. Each year as I stare down the end of December, I give in to a personal ritual. One of reading my posts from the beginning of the year. Re-living the moments, the angst, the happiness, the…
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Of old and new. Dads and daughters
I stood by the window over the sink looking out into the dull, drab day. The sky was overcast and grey. Cold rain drizzled and left shiny streaks along the bricks in the patio. My thoughts were back seven years remembering the final moments with my dad. Time ticked by as he drew his last.…
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The smell of memories
I stand by the sizzling tawa pouring the batter and swirling it into a geometric shape. You stand by my side on a little chair, the top of your head nuzzled against my side. My left arm is positioned across your trunk protectively to keep the heat and oil from getting to you. You lean…
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Cup of joy
The phone rang and I pushed my chair back as I realized it was my Amma. Sensing it was a good time to take a break. I walked over to the kitchen and glanced at the clock. Tucking the phone between my neck and ear, I started on the dishes. Minutes passed and the sink…
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Stars and wishes
“Good friends are like stars. You do not always see them. But you know they are always there.” Admiration, Annoyance, Affection, Frustration, Pride, Envy, Freedom, Insecurity, Hurt, Guilt and Happiness. A friendship that has seen the spectrum of emotions from good to bad and then more. Sixteen years of knowing, growing and evolving together. An…
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Just the journey. Never a destination.
I flip through the pictures in our wedding album. Loud. Vibrant. Chaotic. Happy. Each picture tells a story. Of expectations and dreams. Behind the powder caked face lies unexpressed fears and hopes. I watch my appa bend back as he holds my weight. As you tie the thaali around my neck, I notice my dad’s…
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The lightness of being
I set my laptop on the kitchen island, set the saute pan on the stove and turned the music on. As I tempered and seasoned the vegetables, I swayed to the music. I let the music possess my soul and let go of inhibitions. “Mommy look! I do just like you!” I turned to see…
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Ready and raring to go
Time flies. It sure does. It is soon going to be fall. The summer of 2012 has sped past leaving no memories in its wake. At least not the kind of summer memories I had hoped to create with the two of you. No beach trips. No visit to the Zoo or Sesame place. Not…
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Let there be light!
Holiday season is upon us. This past Sunday I rushed through the aisles of the local clothing store picking up a piece here and a piece there. I piled on my purchases and dove into the first available dressing room making sure I had at least one pair that fit. Walking out the store with…