Category: Diary
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COVID-19 Diaries: Jugaad
I am in the bedroom browsing through my phone when I hear Laddu’s voice. “Mommy, my glasses broke.” It takes a minute to register. “What do you mean broke? Broke?” The questions swirled. How? When? Who? In the end, I inspected the glasses, pronounced it dead. The lack of emotion, the lack of panic. The…
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COVID-19 Diaries: Good Days. Bad Days.
Yesterday was a bad day. It also was a good day. I started the day with excitement. I woke up brimming with ideas for book promotion. My brain was on overdrive, making lists, thinking of ways to promote the book. I logged into work and diligently prepared for a presentation in the afternoon. I had…
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COVID-19 Diaries: Wear Those Dresses
I am speaking on a work call, my palms animated as I to explain my position when I spy Laddu outside my study door. Beyond the mullioned door, she mimes something my preoccupied brain fails to comprehend. I shoo her away and adjust focus back to the matter on hand. The call ends and Laddu…
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COVID-19 Diaries: Openness When Confronting Mortality
My watch buzzes and a familiar name pops up. My smile is huge, stretching from ear to ear. I reach for my phone and open the Messages app. It from Gigi, my daughters’ great grandmother of sorts. This time, the picture is of my newborn twins. A week ago, she sent me a picture of…
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COVID-19 Diaries: Schooling Unschooling
It is a day into week three of the five of us at home. This week also marks the start of formal online school for all three children. While I struggled the past two weeks, the knowledge that all of it was optional let me operate a little guilt-free. This week they started easy. About…
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COVID-19 Diaries: Ambivalent
Today caps two full weeks of the entire family staying home. We are settling into a pattern of sorts. If last week felt overwhelming because I was trying to be a conscientious employee and a full-time homemaker, this week was better because I decided perfection is impossible. I let things slide. I told myself it…
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COVID-19 Diaries: The Elephant In The Room
It is almost 6:00 pm. My mind is thinking about what to make for dinner. The IM on my work machine pings. The request is almost always polite, there is an illusion of choice. “I can do it,” I say. I want to be done with it as well. It is well past 7:00 pm…
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COVID-19 Diaries: A New Normal
I wake up sans alarm. My varied routine now has me logging into work with coffee, catching up on emails, working out and then scrambling to put breakfast before the slew of work calls start at 8:30 am. Saathi works at a steady pace until the children are up and then take over trying to…
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Going On Air With The Takeaway On NPR
It started with a simple comment on Facebook. I had shared an interview between a brother and sister on race. This was from The Takeaway on NPR. My friend suggested I should be on it. I pitched the idea that I would like to talk to my twins’ mother about race in the context of…
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The Very Many Firsts
The window over my sink lets in a mottled mix of sun and clouds. A grey sky putting up a good resistance to the Sun. I stand there rooting for the Sun and smiling a goofy smile. I sip on my coffee and reach for my phone. I scroll through my pictures selecting randomly. Each…
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Little People Problems
“I can’t believe foreigners are in our apartment!” “Won’t they think India is dirty?” Her face wrinkles in concern as she eyes Ammu and Pattu as they soar on the squeaky swings. I look at them too and answer the girl in front of me with questions of my own. We trade replies and she…
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Of friends, food and fun
We lay across from each other, half reclined, bodies settled in a comfortable nooks as we traded quips, exchanged parenting hacks and talked about our lives. The clock neared midnight and I half expected her to turn into a pumpkin and the weekend to be a particularly pleasant dream from which I was waking. A…
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Letting go
“Come and get me!” Ammani taunted as she stood a mere yards away from me, a white fabric frisbee in her hand. I sat panting after playing catch with Ammu and Pattu in the yard. “Am coming..” I yelled even as I heaved my heavy frame and went lumbering after her. I felt my tummy…
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On the brink
Down and out is how I feel When all of future resembles the current day I can feel sadness welling inside me Like a wave ready to crash Yet I blink and carry on For there is no reason I should be sad