Category: Children
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Unplugged Parenting: Walking, Conversations, and Embracing Moments of Joy
“Can we go on a walk?” My middle child pops into the living room where I am prone on the sofa, the lazy ceiling fan lulling me into sleep. Amma is seated across the room. I squint at the window. The sun is still pretty bright for 6:00 pm. “How about after dinner?” I suggest.…
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Mother. Daughter. Mother.
“Skipping time” Amma calls out to my prepubescent youngest child who is upstairs talking to a friend over Facetime. I am in the kitchen doing dishes, amused by the interaction. I hear the sound of jumping upstairs as Laddu counts and jumps a hundred times. She is out of breath but rushes proudly to her…
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Vestiges Of Innocence
“Mom! mom!!” Her excitement is contagious as she bounds down the stairs, her smile stretching from ear to ear, her eyes wide as saucers. I have my AirPods on as I listen to a masterclass on retrograde planets. I pause the lesson and slow my pace to take in what is happening. “The tooth fairy…
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Defining Success: Yet
I was logged in to work, early for a Friday morning that is, when Laddu, also logged into her school iPad in the same room, walked up to me. Her face was serious. I removed my ear phones and gave her my full attention preparing myself to send a note to her teacher whatever the…
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Hard Conversations
Not unlike a day last year following George Floyd’s death at the hands of the police, I stood by the kitchen island and played a seven minute video showing what happened in the nation’s Capitol yesterday. All three of my children watched in horror as men and women scaled walls, broke windows, defiled offices and…
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COVID-19 Diaries: Pandemic Pets
I watch as my middle child sneaks furtively into the kitchen and scamper out with a disposable plastic container. I call out to her and she freezes. She hands over the container and refuses to answer my questions on what it was for. I am miffed and curious but not suspicious yet. A little while…
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COVID-19 Diaries: Virtual School
It is late Monday morning. It is also a long weekend. I should be cooking, instead I am seated at the breakfast table, two iPads, two dated planners next to me, my Macbook open to a spreadsheet, my iPhone showing me the schedule for the child whose planner I am attempting to fill. I have…
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The Race Conversation
“What is the meaning of race?” My elbows are flat against the kitchen island, my face level with my girls. “Run?” “Bring children up?” The twins come up with every possible meaning but the one I was curious to know what they knew. We drank our kaapi, set Laddu up so she could Facetime her…
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Ten Years. Many Lessons.
This week marks ten years since we went from being a couple to parents of twins. Each year I struggle with marking the day. Obviously, it is of import to me. It also is of import to my children in ways I cannot measure or understand. I consciously stay away from anything celebratory. I…
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Growing Up
I pass Laddu’s bedroom en route to mine. A cutout of a rainbow is taped to her door. The door is closed. It bothers me but I can’t quite figure out why. I straighten the bed in Pattu’s room. All around me are signs of disorganization. I sigh and look up. On the ceiling right…
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Untaught Lessons
I am driving home from my brother’s place. Amma is in the passenger seat beside me. Pattu and Laddu are in the back seat bopping to the music streaming from my phone. In the front, we are catching up on the weekend and trading stories. New Rules by Dua Lipa comes on. I lip sync…
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Letting Go, Just A Little Bit
I hear the bus before I see it. My pace picks up speed. I meet neighbors on the way to the bus stop but my mind is on my five-year-old Laddu. The bus passes me and Pattu waves from inside. I am wondering if I should jog the last few meters to the bus stop…
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Becoming Our Mothers
In the midst of stir-frying a melange of vegetables for my children’s’ lunchbox, I reach out for my phone. I shake the pan on one hand and scroll through my FB feed on the other. I set the pan down and lean on the kitchen counter as I catch up on writing-related posts. Next up…
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Be Careful What You Wish For
A few weeks back as I nuzzled the top of Laddu’s head as she curled up against me in the afternoon, I felt an intense need to keep her close and never let go. It hit me that this child will soon be in Kindergarten, taking the bus with her sisters. This time I get…
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Annual Rituals: Back To School
“It’s not fair!” I exclaim to Ammu as the pile of hand-me-downs for Laddu grows in height. “That poor child always wears old stuff.” Ammu is silent as she chews on my remark. In a voice that is careful she says “No, you do actually get her new things.” I let go of my mock…
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Waiting For The Shoe To Drop
The sound of drums and cymbals reverberate through the house. I am at the stove sauteeing a mix of onions, tomatoes, ginger and curry leaves. The smell is sharp, pungent and reminiscent of my past. Saathi is sprawled on the sofa watching the Wimbledon Mens Semi-Finals the way I get immersed in books. I envy…
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Before And After
Some moments in life are definitive. The Before. The After. I stormed out of the local laboratory, a sobbing Ammu behind me. The walk to the car seemed interminable. I knew I should have stopped, bent to her level, held her close, wiped her tears and walked slowly, together to the car. Yet, I…
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Human After All
I feel connected, my arms waving with the music, my voice joining in with the chorus of voices that emanates, amplifies and fills the theater. I was at a rehearsal at the Lincoln theater where the Harmony Project choir was preparing for their December finale. I watched David Brown orchestrate a beautiful crowd of people…
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Girlfriends
There is frenzied knocking on my bathroom door followed by incoherent yelling. I turn the shower off and manage to catch part of it. “Can Ammu and I go to our friend L and J’s home? Please? Pretty please?” I am impressed by the depth of feelings that pours out of Pattu’s voice. “No! You…
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Hot Pink Bikes And Time That Zooms Ahead
“I’ll never give up,” Ammu says, her eyes fierce. She straddles the new bike she is testing in the store, balances on her toes and tentatively pushes ahead. The bike wobbles and she stops, tries again and this time sails ahead. She brakes hard and manages not to fall. I watch from my vantage point…