Mother’s Day: Roe v Wade Edition

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It is Friday afternoon and my social media feed is already showing Mother’s Day ads and wishes. I am irked, annoyed and sometimes, downright angry. My mother lives with me. I raise three daughters. This Mother’s day feels like it should be a day for all those who are tangentially connected to the act of parenting to take a day and reflect on the labor that parenting is.

Mother’s Day has a long, storied history in my life. There were years I longed to participate. There are years when I have felt torn about how to acknowledge all the Mother(s) in my childrens’ lives. There are years when I resented the artifice that accompanies this day.

This year, the day feels poignant as the spotlight on bodily autonomy is on people with uteruses. As rights are being stripped away and the US slips perilously on the path to autocracy, I am thinking of my children, carriers of uteruses and potential Mothers. I am anguished because they will live in a world with lesser rights than the world I grew up in. This is not the world I want to leave for them.

As someone who is intimately familiar with what it takes to build a family through adoption and biology, I worry for children all over this country. My stance is clear. Any person who wants an abortion should be able to make the decision for themselves. People who are alive should have rights on their bodies. Their lives matter.

All over my feed online is the narrative that holds up adoption as an alternative to abortion. I find it abhorrent and vile. Adoption should have nothing to do with pro-life or pro-choice decisions. Adoption the way it is practiced in the US now is a multi billion dollar business. When I see the push to criminalize abortion, all I see are the for profit adoption agencies salivating over a steady supply of babies. The image makes me want to puke.

Having been a mother for over a decade now, I can say with certainty that it has been a roller coaster. This is something I signed up for and, when the going was not great, I could hold on to the dream I once had and tell myself, I signed up for this willingly and whole heartedly. I am trying to put myself in the shoes of someone who is forced to parent or go through pregnancy because a bunch of old white men believe they have the power to do that to me and all I want to do is rage and burn it all down.

I do not believe this country is capable of saving itself. Black and brown women have done enough saving. If the rest of the country does not step up, we will all deserve the fate that befalls us.

This Mother’s Day, all I see is the specter of forced motherhood and all the ways it will break us as a society and country.

Adoption Mother's Day Motherhood Mothering

Laksh View All →

Author. Parent.

10 Comments Leave a comment

  1. Well put Lakshmi. I have no words for what is happening here. To think that people who have no idea what it all means is making a law that will strip the rights of our children is abhorrent to say the least.

  2. Amen, Laksh.

    When I read about this roe-wade somersault, I felt a searing pain in the pit of my stomach. I have had a voluntary abortion myself, (and I have no qualms coming out of the closet with that one), because it was an unexpected and inconvenient pregnancy. I could justify my decision with more moralistic and righteous undertones, but I don’t want to. I aborted at 22 days because I did not WANT another child, and honestly, I have no regrets or guilt (which is a rare thing for me) about it. I am so glad I had that right over my own body and life – my immediate and extended family were completely supportive. In fact, my husband simply said – it’s your body, so your choice. I panic at the thought of the millions who don’t and won’t have that choice.

    I started writing a post on this, but it got too emotionally charged for me. I deleted it, and am now commenting on the posts of everyone else who have written about it.

    • Tight hugs! It is like your husband said, your body, your decision. It should be as simple as that. I can’t stop thinking of my kids and the future.

  3. I agree with everything that you have written.

    I have had 2 abortions in my life and they were not easy decisions. I/ we just felt it was not the right time for us. I have only been with my husband and I never imagined in my teens/early twenties that I would have to make this choice twice in my life.

    What I don’t understand is what has politics/ religion got to do with a woman making a decision based on her life circumstances. Pro – life policy makers would be better off implementing stricter gun laws that impacts a lot more lives/ society if they are actually interested in saving lives.

    What pro- life folks also don’t seem to understand if a woman struggles so much emotionally with making a decision to terminate a pregnancy so early on, how could she be expected to give her baby up for adoption and live with that lifelong. I do not know where this country is heading towards.

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