This year has been a hard year, not necessarily because of the fear and anxiety that epitomized 2020 but because there was a dawning realization that CoVID is here to stay and we will be living with it for a long time.
January started with the insurrection of the Capitol by a mob that believed in the Big Lie. I watched horrified as people stormed the Capitol and social media was ablaze with hot takes on what went down. I end the year horrified that nothing really has changed aside from two people being charged. A party with the President and both houses has not done anything to eliminate the filibuster, protect voting rights or expand the Supreme court.
Also in January, my littlest one had her brush with fame as our then VP-Elect Kamala Harris read her letter out loud and responded to her. I ended the month recognizing that it had been a decade since my older children came to me.
Over the next few months, I looked inward, digging deeper into myself, marking a majority of what I had written on this blog private and delving into decoding the stars. Astrology took hold of me in a way little has, since books did in my childhood. It’s been a year and I still love looking at the skies each day. This practice has made me mindful, centered and less anxious.
Mid year, Saathi and I celebrated 20 years together. With the summer break came the horrors of watching my home country struggle to breathe. I stood by the sidelines as vaccine inequity and a callous government watched lives being snuffed out. The phantom grief hit full force months after.
I took time off in Summer to go with a friend on a writing retreat. I cried for a day and half before I could delve into the story in my head. This experience in itself was probably one of the highlights of my year.
The Summer also saw me attend my first school board meeting and come face to face with hate. I saw, felt and heard the vitriol around me. If race was part of the conversation in my home until then, it was benign, after this experience, it tinged everything about how I looked at my adopted home. Advocacy and rights became a passion. I am yet to figure out how best to help and be effective without stretching myself thin.
In October, I attended my first women’s rights march and made friends with amazing people. They are passionate, fearless and make me realize why this country is beautiful.
I end this year feeling hopeful despite the darkness that surrounds me, despite the nastiness that lives around me. I am cautiously optimistic that we will, as a community rise above the divisiveness and Earth will do what she has to do to protect herself. The appreciation of the cosmos has in some sense made the notion of time and life limitless.
Happy New Year!