A Home On My Back

Photo by rompalli harish on Pexels.com

My weekly astrology classes take up a bulk of my Saturdays. I am actively listening to theory, catching up on podcasts related to the material taught and applying the concepts I learn to my natal chart. The rest of the time though, my mind is processing and viewing my life and the world through a newly acquired pair of lenses.

I am Cancer rising in astro speak. My ascendant, the house that rules me, the person, is represented by a crab. My personality is the archetype of the crab. I literally carry my home on my back.

I am a fairly sentimental person. I carry my memories the way people treasure keepsakes. Smells and photos make me cry. I go back in time many times over to make sense of the person I am today. I am curiously unattached to places, homes, people or things.

I have never gone back to visit my alma mater. I have not gone back to the colony in Coimbatore that houses the best memories of my childhood. I have not roamed around M.G. Road, Church Street and Jayanagar 4th block since I left the city of Bangalore at the turn of the century. I have not been back to see the very first home my husband and I bought. I know if ever we were to move from the place I call home now, I will not go back in search of memories or nostalgia.

Like the crab, I carry it all in my head. I take my home where I go, the imprints of the person I was, the person I am now and the person I will be are all coded in my head. A whiff of vellam and elakkai will take me back to a tiny kitchen in Madras. The lingering scent of jasmine will take me to the thinnai in Coimbatore. The smell of avalakki will take me to a terrace in Jayanagar in an instant. The earthy smell of mulch and swamp will always remind me of the place I am in right now.

Like the crab, I like to cut sideways, track along the sand where my prints will be washed by the next wave. Like the crab, I can retreat into my shell when I want to pretend my world is my home.

4 thoughts on “A Home On My Back

  1. Oh what a beautiful way in which you string your thoughts and words together is pure music 🧚🏻‍♀️
    We are so much more than our physical presence – our thoughts, memories, words, smiles, regrets, pain.
    Love love love this sentence:
    “A whiff of vellam and elakkai will take me back to a tiny kitchen in Madras. The lingering scent of jasmine will take me to the thinnai in Coimbatore. The smell of avalakki will take me to a terrace in Jayanagar in an instant. The earthy smell of mulch and swamp will always remind me of the place I am in right now.”

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