It’s Friday. My oldest is sitting next to me, her earbuds plugged in, her school iPad screen reflected on her glasses. I am amused. She is supposed to working on a diagnostic. I watch her swap screens to youtube and call her out. At this point, I am just weary of trying to keep tabs, trying to redirect, or even attempt to get her to focus on her work.
COVID schooling has taken a toll. It shows up as a stiff neck at the end of the day, bone-deep exhaustion that has me asleep at 9:00 pm each night. It shows up as heightened awareness to sounds as my ears strain day in and day out to check if my children are on the Zooms they are supposed to be on.
I have not written anything creative in the past many months, the only pieces I seem to be able to crank out are blog posts and the occasional non-fiction essay. I have not read any books either. I buy books on the Kindle. I borrow books from my library. I return them unread.
Each day seems to stretch interminably, as does each week. The idea of being back in public, socializing, eating out, sitting in an enclosed theater, or even blowing on a birthday cake seems so far out in the future. I think of the travel funds from a canceled trip sitting in my account and wonder if we will ever get to use them.
I impulse purchase things on Amazon. I regret it moments later. I swing between renewed optimism for the next year and beyond and abject despair at the state of things around me. This oscillation is doing me no good.
I turn to astrology because nothing in our lives seems to make sense. I wonder if the stars will align to make our world alright again and soon. I do not yet have the answers I seek.
So, tell me, dear readers, how are you doing? How are you coping with this unexpected turn all our lives have taken?