Looking Back. Looking Forward.

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Photo by Naveen Annam on Pexels.com

Rituals are just that, repetitive things that we do because they serve some purpose for us. My annual ritual of poring over everything I have written over the year, culling out the ones that mark a transition or milestone of some sort and assembling them to tell the story of my year gives me joy. It brings closure to the notion of a year. It lets me start the new year like the blank slate I want it to be.

So, here goes.

I started the year 2019 claiming Drift to be my word. While I may have not actively made it my word, I did drift in more ways than one. Drift in itself acknowledges a lack of control over the narrative and that was true of 2019. Professionally and personally I have gone with the flow letting extraneous things guide how I react, how I live my life.

2019 also has been the year in which I have had to reflect more times than I care to count on the kind of parent I want to be to my daughters. It has forced me to think about the kind of people I want my children to grow into, the kind of things I want to talk to them about, the kind of things I have been forced to talk about. I have grown as a person and a mother this year.

2019 also is the year that saw me return to the workforce. It has been a mixed bag so far. I am truly glad to be earning. I enjoy the work I do. I certainly could do without the commute and the preparation that is required to be outside the home. I find myself idly browsing MFA courses, certificate programs and things that I feel will hone my writing. I truly wish there was a way to pursue my craft with the kind of passion I know I have for it.

2019 has been a big year in terms of writing. I had my first commissioned piece published in print and online. I signed the contract for a children’s book that is due to be published mid-2020. There is a lot I am waiting on in terms of growing professionally in the writing and publishing world. I enter 2020 with hope. With a cautious optimism born from experience of things not working out quite as expected.

I am working on picking a word that will define 2020 for me. Liminal is a word that keeps popping into my head alongside the word Hope. Then there is the oft used and therefore overlooked word Change.

As I wrap up the year, I wish for you and your family – Happy Holidays and a Happy New Year!

Laksh

Author. Parent.

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